Yes, my blood pressure is high. it has been high my entire life. Not just adult life, but entire life when we look back and discuss events as young as when I was a month old baby having uncontrollable nosebleeds.
Yes, I am fat. I make no bones about the fact that I am fat. It's not like it's something that can be hidden.
I went to my doctor today to get a prescription refill of my blood pressure medications. What I didn't go for was a lecture on how 90% of the time, the reason a person has high blood pressure is because of their weight.
Today, I fought back. I told him that I have had blood pressure issues all my life. That even when I lost 45lbs 6 years ago, I was still suffering from severe high blood pressure and that weight seemingly had no effect when I lost any. That it is entire possible that my blood pressure is up because I am the sole income provider for my household because through no fault of his my husband is unable to work. Added to that work situation, I am self employed for only 10 months out of the year and most of the extras I get to do at this particular time of the year (being Christmas) is expected and is done out of the goodness of my heart in the name of charity. One of these days I will be the charity case that people are giving to.
I explained how my husband is getting the work ups needed to be on the transplant list and how we are goign now for cadaver only so he has a better chance of having approximately 5 years diabetes free and maybe get a "quality of life" back around the age of 40. Of course, by then we will be so far in debt that there will be no quality of life, but that's something to piss and moan about whenever that time arrives.
He then said that perhaps since the holidays are so stressful that I should look at going away for the holidays. He and his family have gone on 2 week cruises for the past 2 christmases to make sure they just get away from the craziness. I figure doctors don't have to have ears because everything I had just told him didn't get through the ear canal to the brain.
Then he decided that it was time to have the whole round of blood tests done again because "at your size, it's guaranteed to be high cholesterol and high sugars". he says that every year and every year in January I get immense satisfaction when he exclaims with complete shock "Wow! You're in shockingly good health for someone your size!"
He then told me how he has lost 6lbs in 3 weeks by not eating after supper. That's really all I have to do is get out for a walk of at least 30 minutes per day and not eat after supper. Considering my supper is not existant because I work in the evenings, it's not exactly possible. Some times my supper is 9pm or later at night, which is then when I dont' eat after supper. Other than that, the only thing I could do is eat once around 1pm for the day if I go by his rule of thumb.
Then I got the lecture about how if someone told me that I could avoid cancer by not eating certain foods I would but how we don't as a community get scared by diabetes even though the statistics for people who are diabetic and have a massive heart attack within 10 years of diagnosis are 70% and how there are 50% of diabetics with amputations due to complications and often go blind from the disease.
I again told him he was preaching to the choir as I am more than aware of what the disease can do since my husband is a type 1 diabetic since age 11, is on a pump, has had his left eye go blind due to diabetic retinopathy, has had hyperthyroidism due to his diabetes along with 2 rounds of radiation to kill it and is now going through mounds of testing and work ups for a kidney and pancreas transplant, but thanks for the lecture Dr. Asshole.
And how has YOUR Monday morning been?!!?
Monday, December 06, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Decision made
But one always wonders when things don't go quite according to plan if I made the right decision.
I had asked for information and at the time ignored it. That may be coming back to bite me now, but the decision was made and even if it's not quite what I expected it's not that bad...right?
I may have to make another decision soon, but I am really trying to give this one enough time to show to me it's true colours - it is really for or not for me - because with everything in life this too seems to be in a constant procss of change.
Today is the unofficial official start to the Christmas season in my area. Still hate this day and most of this time of year to be truthful, but I will put on a happy face so no one will be the wiser. It's just easier that way. :)
I had asked for information and at the time ignored it. That may be coming back to bite me now, but the decision was made and even if it's not quite what I expected it's not that bad...right?
I may have to make another decision soon, but I am really trying to give this one enough time to show to me it's true colours - it is really for or not for me - because with everything in life this too seems to be in a constant procss of change.
Today is the unofficial official start to the Christmas season in my area. Still hate this day and most of this time of year to be truthful, but I will put on a happy face so no one will be the wiser. It's just easier that way. :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
No time for decisions
I took 2.5 days off of teaching last week and expected to have the time I needed to get the things done for my sister & bro-in-law's party as well as have the time to do some writing, practicing and take some time for me to make some decisions.
The only thing that happened in those 2.5 days off was the party stuff. It meant that the party went well though, so that's great, but I got nothing else done and my house is in complete and utter shambles. *sigh*
I have to get the paperwork done for my first session/class that I am offering. It's a big deal. I have to make sure that the information given is good information and that the class/session is paced well for the 2 hours. This week, I need to finalize the information, find 2 hours to run through everything to make sure that it is paced well then edit and print off their hand-outs and put them together in their presentation folders. I have to clean the studio area *which needs to be done anyway*, set out chairs get products for tea & coffee for those who don't like it black and get some "treats" for my guests. I was hoping to have everything done except for the tea, coffee & sweets last week on my days off, but life doesn't ever seem to work out the way I have it planned.
So, between students, I will be typing like mad this week!
I also have to decide what I want to do/need to do when my gig at the current church expires on January 2nd, 2011 as the church is closing. I have had 2 offers, neither of them formal but 2 offers none the less. But, on first discussions with both places, neither of them felt "right". It's a hard thing to explain, but neither meeting left me feeling "warm & fuzzy". One really, really wants me - to quote their minister, but I am just not a fan of the actual service format or how they do the same things every week. The second place has no youth. I would be the youngest person (by far) in the church. No room for growth, they have no permanent minister and while they will never not be there, it sounds like they are in the same place, or heading there very quickly as the church that is closing in 6 weeks. Do I want to get in to that same situation again?
I am starting to spread my wings with regard to musical work. I can't elaborate right now because nothing has been signed, but it is the next logical step in my musical career, but it will take me away from a church at very inopportune times in the church's calendar year. I am not sure if this will be an every year thing, but right now, I hope it is and that is not fair for a church to be missing a vital part of their operations every time the musical needs arise as it is almost always the same time of year.
I am torn, as often is the case when making decisions. Logically, it should not be this difficult. I should be able to look at things on paper and make a decision, but I just can't. I need time to really look at things, talk about things and think things through and I simply have not had the time I expected, wanted or needed and I know that these 2 places are waiting on my decision. But, I don't have the time I need to make it, so I keep them hanging. Utterly unfair.
Here's hoping to having more time this week to think!!
The only thing that happened in those 2.5 days off was the party stuff. It meant that the party went well though, so that's great, but I got nothing else done and my house is in complete and utter shambles. *sigh*
I have to get the paperwork done for my first session/class that I am offering. It's a big deal. I have to make sure that the information given is good information and that the class/session is paced well for the 2 hours. This week, I need to finalize the information, find 2 hours to run through everything to make sure that it is paced well then edit and print off their hand-outs and put them together in their presentation folders. I have to clean the studio area *which needs to be done anyway*, set out chairs get products for tea & coffee for those who don't like it black and get some "treats" for my guests. I was hoping to have everything done except for the tea, coffee & sweets last week on my days off, but life doesn't ever seem to work out the way I have it planned.
So, between students, I will be typing like mad this week!
I also have to decide what I want to do/need to do when my gig at the current church expires on January 2nd, 2011 as the church is closing. I have had 2 offers, neither of them formal but 2 offers none the less. But, on first discussions with both places, neither of them felt "right". It's a hard thing to explain, but neither meeting left me feeling "warm & fuzzy". One really, really wants me - to quote their minister, but I am just not a fan of the actual service format or how they do the same things every week. The second place has no youth. I would be the youngest person (by far) in the church. No room for growth, they have no permanent minister and while they will never not be there, it sounds like they are in the same place, or heading there very quickly as the church that is closing in 6 weeks. Do I want to get in to that same situation again?
I am starting to spread my wings with regard to musical work. I can't elaborate right now because nothing has been signed, but it is the next logical step in my musical career, but it will take me away from a church at very inopportune times in the church's calendar year. I am not sure if this will be an every year thing, but right now, I hope it is and that is not fair for a church to be missing a vital part of their operations every time the musical needs arise as it is almost always the same time of year.
I am torn, as often is the case when making decisions. Logically, it should not be this difficult. I should be able to look at things on paper and make a decision, but I just can't. I need time to really look at things, talk about things and think things through and I simply have not had the time I expected, wanted or needed and I know that these 2 places are waiting on my decision. But, I don't have the time I need to make it, so I keep them hanging. Utterly unfair.
Here's hoping to having more time this week to think!!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
It's October already?!?!
Actually, it's almost November!! The time seems to be equal parts flying by and dragging on forever!
Things are really rolling along quickly on a couple of paths of my life. Others are seemingly stagnant. Same as any other time in life.
I am very busy with musical endeavours. Teaching 5 days a week. Accompanying a 100 voice concert choir for for a "big show" at the end of November, prepping kids for ESF auditions then playing for thsoe who make the show, contemporary canadian music competition, preparing for 2 different winter/christmas recitals for 2 different teaching studios and accompanying a new med school choir!
Then we have the church gearing up to close that I am currently playing for and I am on the look out for a new church. I had one already "make an offer" - informal, mind you as the minister can't deal money matters, but the offer of the position is mine. I have a couple of issues though as while I need the job, I don't really like the church service or the religion itself - Anglican has never been my cup of tea.
Another church has come to my attention though as looking for a new organist/choir director. It's United (which is what I have grown up as and have had the most experience with), is one of the larger churches in the city and I am under the impression that it has medical and pension benfits through the UCC. So, I am going to apply there. I should be re-typing my resume instead of posting a blog, but I am queen of proctrastination! We REALLY need medical coverage, so if they are offering that with the position, I will be out for blood over it and I know at least one other person who has applied for the position. Should be an interesting competition!
I have 2 other exciting musical things that have popped up, but can't really speak/announce anything because it's not official as I haven't signed any contracts. Until then, I have to stay quiet in case things fall through for whatever odd reasons may occur.
I will be quite happy to see the 2nd week of November though! I had planned ahead and had scheduled in a few days off from teaching that week - without it affecting my income - and it will be a much needed respite! I can't go away or anything because 1) we have no extra money and 2) I still have a wednesday night chori committment that can't be taken time from. But, it is a good few days to have mostly off since we're having a party for sister & brother in law that Saturday! Timing is everything and the spirit is moving in good and positive ways, for which I am so utterly grateful and thankful for!
I really have well guided and blessed and can only hope that things will continue to stay on this path going in to the new year.
PS: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Things are really rolling along quickly on a couple of paths of my life. Others are seemingly stagnant. Same as any other time in life.
I am very busy with musical endeavours. Teaching 5 days a week. Accompanying a 100 voice concert choir for for a "big show" at the end of November, prepping kids for ESF auditions then playing for thsoe who make the show, contemporary canadian music competition, preparing for 2 different winter/christmas recitals for 2 different teaching studios and accompanying a new med school choir!
Then we have the church gearing up to close that I am currently playing for and I am on the look out for a new church. I had one already "make an offer" - informal, mind you as the minister can't deal money matters, but the offer of the position is mine. I have a couple of issues though as while I need the job, I don't really like the church service or the religion itself - Anglican has never been my cup of tea.
Another church has come to my attention though as looking for a new organist/choir director. It's United (which is what I have grown up as and have had the most experience with), is one of the larger churches in the city and I am under the impression that it has medical and pension benfits through the UCC. So, I am going to apply there. I should be re-typing my resume instead of posting a blog, but I am queen of proctrastination! We REALLY need medical coverage, so if they are offering that with the position, I will be out for blood over it and I know at least one other person who has applied for the position. Should be an interesting competition!
I have 2 other exciting musical things that have popped up, but can't really speak/announce anything because it's not official as I haven't signed any contracts. Until then, I have to stay quiet in case things fall through for whatever odd reasons may occur.
I will be quite happy to see the 2nd week of November though! I had planned ahead and had scheduled in a few days off from teaching that week - without it affecting my income - and it will be a much needed respite! I can't go away or anything because 1) we have no extra money and 2) I still have a wednesday night chori committment that can't be taken time from. But, it is a good few days to have mostly off since we're having a party for sister & brother in law that Saturday! Timing is everything and the spirit is moving in good and positive ways, for which I am so utterly grateful and thankful for!
I really have well guided and blessed and can only hope that things will continue to stay on this path going in to the new year.
PS: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Selfish
I know and acknowledge that I am a selfish person. I am okay with that, since most of the time I overcompensate when presented with the opportunity to "redeem myself for my sins". :)
A piece of information was presented to me on the weekend that made me both happy and sad. I am genuinely happy for the people for which the information directly affects. They have the opportunity to experience something that they have been longing for. I am genuinely sad for myself, and for my husband because that opportunity means that very soon the dynamic of our friendship will forever be altered in such a way that will put a chasm between us. Our choices are completely opposed, but neither party is wrong, so one can not help but to be happy for those for whom it is right.
I know this is going to be the situation since it has happened in previous friendship cases where this situation has presented itself. We simply, like many people do, grow apart once the changes come to full fruition since we will not be growing on the same path at the same time together. It doesn't change my thoughts on the path either, which doesn't help LOL
Yet another period of transition. *Sigh* When do we stop growing in life? Oh, right! When we die. Until then, life is simply a series of changes...for the good and bad (depending on which side of the change you are on).
A piece of information was presented to me on the weekend that made me both happy and sad. I am genuinely happy for the people for which the information directly affects. They have the opportunity to experience something that they have been longing for. I am genuinely sad for myself, and for my husband because that opportunity means that very soon the dynamic of our friendship will forever be altered in such a way that will put a chasm between us. Our choices are completely opposed, but neither party is wrong, so one can not help but to be happy for those for whom it is right.
I know this is going to be the situation since it has happened in previous friendship cases where this situation has presented itself. We simply, like many people do, grow apart once the changes come to full fruition since we will not be growing on the same path at the same time together. It doesn't change my thoughts on the path either, which doesn't help LOL
Yet another period of transition. *Sigh* When do we stop growing in life? Oh, right! When we die. Until then, life is simply a series of changes...for the good and bad (depending on which side of the change you are on).
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Abundance of Blessings
Someone pointed out to me yesterday that things certainly seem to be going well for me this summer, in comparison to what I was going on and worrying about so much in the latter part of the spring.
They are correct. Things turned out quite well for me so far this summer, considering neither myself nor my husband are currently employed full time. Instead of going out and getting a temporary job, I have enough students and readings booked this summer (so far, at least) that I didn't need to go that route. This has undoubtedly been a blessing as it has allowed the bills that continue through the summer to be paid along with having some downtime to travel to the places that I love - mostly the Lake and enjoy the incredible summer sunshine we have been having.
I have given thanks every night before I fall asleep for the blessings and opportunities that I have been given this day and every day by the higher power and I also go so far as to thank the higher power for the blessings that I know I will receive in the day to come. I ask for the white light of protection for myself and for others and I also ask for the blue light of healing to surround those that I know need the extra help.
I did not ask for extra, but I asked for help in doing what needs to be done - pay bills and enjoy what I can in life.
I have had an abundance of blessings this month of July. July has far exceeded my expectations.
August comes a slight change to the schedules, but I am hopeful that I will continue to be blessed and happy and healthy and that no matter what, the abundance of blessings will continue because I will always be given when I need and for that, I will always be thankful!
They are correct. Things turned out quite well for me so far this summer, considering neither myself nor my husband are currently employed full time. Instead of going out and getting a temporary job, I have enough students and readings booked this summer (so far, at least) that I didn't need to go that route. This has undoubtedly been a blessing as it has allowed the bills that continue through the summer to be paid along with having some downtime to travel to the places that I love - mostly the Lake and enjoy the incredible summer sunshine we have been having.
I have given thanks every night before I fall asleep for the blessings and opportunities that I have been given this day and every day by the higher power and I also go so far as to thank the higher power for the blessings that I know I will receive in the day to come. I ask for the white light of protection for myself and for others and I also ask for the blue light of healing to surround those that I know need the extra help.
I did not ask for extra, but I asked for help in doing what needs to be done - pay bills and enjoy what I can in life.
I have had an abundance of blessings this month of July. July has far exceeded my expectations.
August comes a slight change to the schedules, but I am hopeful that I will continue to be blessed and happy and healthy and that no matter what, the abundance of blessings will continue because I will always be given when I need and for that, I will always be thankful!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Summer is speeding by
Wow! Where is the summer of 2010 going?!
July has just flown by and soon we will all be back in to our "regularly scheduled lives" that even though we no longer are in school, still revolves around the school year schedule!
I do love summer. I have not enjoyed a summer so much in a LONG time! We have spent a few overnights at the lake and also gone down for a number of sunny/swimmy afternoons.
Everytime that I test my blood pressure after we come back from the Lake it is the best it's been since the last time we were down. Each time I tested at Shoppers on our way home and each time it is as close to the perfect "120/80" that I can remember getting. Apparently, sunhine and swimming agrees with me! :)
Things seem to be turning a corner with regards to hubby's health. While it's still slow going, I think we can both see an improvement for the first time in literally a couple of years. I'm hoping that the upward trend continues and he starts to feel like himself again soon.
Looking forward to a few more busily scheduled weekends and then back to the grind it is! But, I can honestly say I am looking forward to it. I think I'll be ready, mentally, for the first time in years! Only time will tell of course, but I'm looking forward with much positivity!!
July has just flown by and soon we will all be back in to our "regularly scheduled lives" that even though we no longer are in school, still revolves around the school year schedule!
I do love summer. I have not enjoyed a summer so much in a LONG time! We have spent a few overnights at the lake and also gone down for a number of sunny/swimmy afternoons.
Everytime that I test my blood pressure after we come back from the Lake it is the best it's been since the last time we were down. Each time I tested at Shoppers on our way home and each time it is as close to the perfect "120/80" that I can remember getting. Apparently, sunhine and swimming agrees with me! :)
Things seem to be turning a corner with regards to hubby's health. While it's still slow going, I think we can both see an improvement for the first time in literally a couple of years. I'm hoping that the upward trend continues and he starts to feel like himself again soon.
Looking forward to a few more busily scheduled weekends and then back to the grind it is! But, I can honestly say I am looking forward to it. I think I'll be ready, mentally, for the first time in years! Only time will tell of course, but I'm looking forward with much positivity!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Kinda glad...
I was supposed to be an instructor for a singing summer camp starting tomorrow and you know, I'm rather glad that I do not have to teach this week. I just finished up "teaching" with the music exams this past Friday and I'm honestly a bit fried. I now have 2 almost full days off before I have 4 students on Wednesday and then an outfoor flea market on Thursday. I will probably go to the Lake on Monday or Tuesday and be better off for it all mentally at least, in the end.
I am going to go in for all day Saturday dress rehearsals and the actual concert as accompanist, so it isn't a total loss monetarily and I still have some "downtime" and I still get to do the outdoor flea market, so I think "everything happens for a reason" is seriously applicable this coming week.
I am going to go in for all day Saturday dress rehearsals and the actual concert as accompanist, so it isn't a total loss monetarily and I still have some "downtime" and I still get to do the outdoor flea market, so I think "everything happens for a reason" is seriously applicable this coming week.
Monday, June 14, 2010
and so it begins...
and now I am in a quandry because I hadn't made any firm movements or decisions and yet my path is already starting to look rather bomb-riddled in a very short time period.
I knew my time at the church was temporary and that they were going to close, but the expectation is that it would be open until Dec. 31st and that I would be there to see them through to the end. It's $800/month that I couldn't get anywhere else for that little amount of time or effort. news came down after this past sunday's service that it appears that the church will not be open to the end of December 2010. The minister decided to try his hand at politics and is running in the september election. Problem with that is that the church's governing council doesn't think that politics and religion should mix and they have voted to remove him from the pulpit. The bonus however, is that it saves them payign out a minister's salary for approximately 6 months. They also announced after church on Sunday that they have decided to close down 3/4 of the building and onyl use 1/4 of the building, that they would be phasing out the secretary to save on that salary as well and without a paid minister, they would be using lay ministers and lay readers on an interim basis being paid per service a significantly less sum of money. They made no mention of removing the organist, but considering they have removed the other two paid positions, it is not out of the realm of possibilities that they will simply remove me.
the church has 2 more Sundays of regular services before a summer break for the month of July. Several pillars of the church got up after these announcements and said that they are sick and tired of the BS (not those words, mind you) and they would not be coming back and they believe that the church should simply close it's doors at the end of this month, put the estimated $100k needed to close out the sale of the property in escrow and use the remaining monies (if any) to fund bursaries in the name of the church for posterity's sake.
The issue that I am having with this is because I had agreed to the year term in a contract, that I had turned down 2 other potential positions, which started August 1st. Those 2 other positions have now been filled and I may be finished with what I thought was guaranteed money until 2011 at the end of June 2010, right at the start of crunch time for money for me.
Then, the back bathroom (the studio bathroom) wasn't flushing well, so we punged it and 10-second plummered it and it didn't seem to do anything to fix the problem, but the other day, we found water on the bathroom floor - but not around the sick or the toilet. Weird. mopped it up and thought perhaps it was a spill over from draining the dehumidifier.
Then this afternoon, we did a load of laundry and came back to transfer the clothes in to the dryer when there was a fair sized puddle of water in the middle of the floor. looked like it was from under the washer, but moved the washer and we can't see a thing where it indicated leaking or wetness! There was also more water in the bathroom floor at weird spots not near sink or toilet and the back shower that is never used now looks like the pipes backed up and vomited on the floor of the shower. It rained like crazy this afternoon, so we thought it might have been a leaking roof, but again, not a sign of wetness anywhere on the ceilings. Weirdness abounds and there is obviously something going on with the pipes, even if the roof is leaking, so we have to call in a plumber.
Add that to the fact that yesterday was my last official teaching day of the season and the summer students were just enough to tide us through the summer if nothign went wrong and we havne't even started that process yet and things are going wrong left and right. We have no emergency or reserve funds and yet here we are having to call in a plumber whose services are usually $100/hour. Just f-ing great.
I haven't even made any decisions about the other situation other than talking with her and what I wanted to address and look what's happened. Perhaps I dont' need to talk to her after all. perhaps just that decision was the wrong one that cue-ed this cascade of events.
not sure. All I know is I'm already defeated and thinking that I'm not cut out for home-ownership and self-employment.
I knew my time at the church was temporary and that they were going to close, but the expectation is that it would be open until Dec. 31st and that I would be there to see them through to the end. It's $800/month that I couldn't get anywhere else for that little amount of time or effort. news came down after this past sunday's service that it appears that the church will not be open to the end of December 2010. The minister decided to try his hand at politics and is running in the september election. Problem with that is that the church's governing council doesn't think that politics and religion should mix and they have voted to remove him from the pulpit. The bonus however, is that it saves them payign out a minister's salary for approximately 6 months. They also announced after church on Sunday that they have decided to close down 3/4 of the building and onyl use 1/4 of the building, that they would be phasing out the secretary to save on that salary as well and without a paid minister, they would be using lay ministers and lay readers on an interim basis being paid per service a significantly less sum of money. They made no mention of removing the organist, but considering they have removed the other two paid positions, it is not out of the realm of possibilities that they will simply remove me.
the church has 2 more Sundays of regular services before a summer break for the month of July. Several pillars of the church got up after these announcements and said that they are sick and tired of the BS (not those words, mind you) and they would not be coming back and they believe that the church should simply close it's doors at the end of this month, put the estimated $100k needed to close out the sale of the property in escrow and use the remaining monies (if any) to fund bursaries in the name of the church for posterity's sake.
The issue that I am having with this is because I had agreed to the year term in a contract, that I had turned down 2 other potential positions, which started August 1st. Those 2 other positions have now been filled and I may be finished with what I thought was guaranteed money until 2011 at the end of June 2010, right at the start of crunch time for money for me.
Then, the back bathroom (the studio bathroom) wasn't flushing well, so we punged it and 10-second plummered it and it didn't seem to do anything to fix the problem, but the other day, we found water on the bathroom floor - but not around the sick or the toilet. Weird. mopped it up and thought perhaps it was a spill over from draining the dehumidifier.
Then this afternoon, we did a load of laundry and came back to transfer the clothes in to the dryer when there was a fair sized puddle of water in the middle of the floor. looked like it was from under the washer, but moved the washer and we can't see a thing where it indicated leaking or wetness! There was also more water in the bathroom floor at weird spots not near sink or toilet and the back shower that is never used now looks like the pipes backed up and vomited on the floor of the shower. It rained like crazy this afternoon, so we thought it might have been a leaking roof, but again, not a sign of wetness anywhere on the ceilings. Weirdness abounds and there is obviously something going on with the pipes, even if the roof is leaking, so we have to call in a plumber.
Add that to the fact that yesterday was my last official teaching day of the season and the summer students were just enough to tide us through the summer if nothign went wrong and we havne't even started that process yet and things are going wrong left and right. We have no emergency or reserve funds and yet here we are having to call in a plumber whose services are usually $100/hour. Just f-ing great.
I haven't even made any decisions about the other situation other than talking with her and what I wanted to address and look what's happened. Perhaps I dont' need to talk to her after all. perhaps just that decision was the wrong one that cue-ed this cascade of events.
not sure. All I know is I'm already defeated and thinking that I'm not cut out for home-ownership and self-employment.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Excited!
I am rather excited! I got 3 packages delivered today and the big one was a bunch of bottles and spray tops so that I can make room sprays with. I had seen the room sprays in a store in Maine and bought one for my personal use, but they were pricey - $7.50 a bottle. I looked into getting them wholesale, but they weren't willing to ship to Canada, so screw it. I decided I'd make them myself and sell them under "my brand name" LOL!!
Tomorrow will be my first attempt at making them! I'm going to start with a Sage Spray - for those who want to cleanse a room without having to burn sage to smudge the room. Sage smudging is difficult for those who have breathing difficulties or nosey neighbours as the sage smoke smells a bit like pot, so it becomes a bit suspect. Just as effective, but easier to use (no fire needed) and I have found that I use the spray a lot more often than I ever burnt sage!
I want to also make a lavender spray for headache relief and a witchazel spray for bug bites and burns.
I've started once again making bath salts. I had made them a few years ago and used them as gifts for birthdays and xmas, but had stopped making them up due to laziness and an over-staturated market for bath products, but I will make up a selection for specific pure uses. I have 4 already made up and just got the oils in today to make up the 5th one. Very excited by that as well! I'll make that up and that will be the 5th blend. I'll make a special offer to those who buy a package of each blend.
I'm excited! Hopefully that excitement is justified and that others will be just as excited as I am once they find out about them!
Tomorrow will be my first attempt at making them! I'm going to start with a Sage Spray - for those who want to cleanse a room without having to burn sage to smudge the room. Sage smudging is difficult for those who have breathing difficulties or nosey neighbours as the sage smoke smells a bit like pot, so it becomes a bit suspect. Just as effective, but easier to use (no fire needed) and I have found that I use the spray a lot more often than I ever burnt sage!
I want to also make a lavender spray for headache relief and a witchazel spray for bug bites and burns.
I've started once again making bath salts. I had made them a few years ago and used them as gifts for birthdays and xmas, but had stopped making them up due to laziness and an over-staturated market for bath products, but I will make up a selection for specific pure uses. I have 4 already made up and just got the oils in today to make up the 5th one. Very excited by that as well! I'll make that up and that will be the 5th blend. I'll make a special offer to those who buy a package of each blend.
I'm excited! Hopefully that excitement is justified and that others will be just as excited as I am once they find out about them!
Sunday, June 06, 2010
A mistake?
I fear I have made an error in judgement. While I have not had any clear indication for Spirit or the Universe, I highly suspect that I have made a bad decision. It is unfortunately a decision I can't un-do easily. It will be approximately a year before it can be undone. I can only hope that the year is not filled with speedumps and pot holes on the road of life.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
A Wee Update
I really haven't had much to say. Well, of course, I have, but it's all been rather negative, so I have just been quiet.
Tonight though, I am on edge. I really want to just go through the entire house and be the Tazmanian Devil of cleaners, but I know that would only put me on to some other thought process and focus and I'd be more agitated that I didn't get anything finished that I'd started because it is simply too late to start anything.
I will say that the summer is looking brighter financially and I am not applyin at Timmy Ho-Hos just yet. For that, I am thankful.
Tonight though, I am on edge. I really want to just go through the entire house and be the Tazmanian Devil of cleaners, but I know that would only put me on to some other thought process and focus and I'd be more agitated that I didn't get anything finished that I'd started because it is simply too late to start anything.
I will say that the summer is looking brighter financially and I am not applyin at Timmy Ho-Hos just yet. For that, I am thankful.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The summer draweth nigh
Midway through what I call purgatory with a cold from hell isn't the most fun I could have at this point in time.
We're going away in May. I should be taking the money from purgatory and putting it toward summer expenses...like mortgage payments, but instead we're going away. I can't go much longer without a break, so I'm just doing it.
The summer is getting closer and closer and I still do not have a stable financial plan.
I have been hired to teach for a week at a Summer Camp at the Imperial, but it's only enough money for the week, not for the other 11 weeks.
My plan for now is to teach one day per week, except the week of the camp and grab a job at Tims or Shoppers in the local area that I can walk to for some part-time hours. I won't be doing the flea markets and things at least in July 1st due to the camp committments, so should be fun. I'm hoping that the school kids looking for jobs aren't going to go the Tims or Shoppers route so I won't have to fight with them for a spot. Time will tell though. I'll apply somewhere at the start of June, since I can't really do much until I'm done teaching.
Other than that, there isn't much going on for updates, hence the lack of.
We're going away in May. I should be taking the money from purgatory and putting it toward summer expenses...like mortgage payments, but instead we're going away. I can't go much longer without a break, so I'm just doing it.
The summer is getting closer and closer and I still do not have a stable financial plan.
I have been hired to teach for a week at a Summer Camp at the Imperial, but it's only enough money for the week, not for the other 11 weeks.
My plan for now is to teach one day per week, except the week of the camp and grab a job at Tims or Shoppers in the local area that I can walk to for some part-time hours. I won't be doing the flea markets and things at least in July 1st due to the camp committments, so should be fun. I'm hoping that the school kids looking for jobs aren't going to go the Tims or Shoppers route so I won't have to fight with them for a spot. Time will tell though. I'll apply somewhere at the start of June, since I can't really do much until I'm done teaching.
Other than that, there isn't much going on for updates, hence the lack of.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Just as thick
So, this past week wasn't less thickened by any stretch of the imagination.
I believe this was one of the collective "worst weeks" on many people's books. Most people I spoke to had a bad week.
Mine didn't actually have a lot to do with me having a bad week, but that there were bad things happening to others around me. I am thankful that for the most part, I avoided these things, but it is mentally taxing when these things seem to happen and no one is getting a break.
Hubby's not much better. I know that things will improve, but I just wish he had an appetite and some energy back that isn't at 1 or 2am.
2 cousins died this past week. I wasn't close to either one, but my mother & sister had been keeping a vigil on one who was expected to pass due to cancer, but at 61 years of age, far from old. Then there was the unexpected death of the 25 year old...and apparently, not from suicide either. I'll probably never hear why he died, but it does give one pause when one in your blodd-line dies who is significantly younger than you.
Hubby's dad is unable to have the stent procedure, which they found out only after they started the stent insertions and will be having a triple by-pass on Wednesday. I had a full day of rehearsals yesterday for a studio recital which happens this coming Friday night. Then we're in to Palm Sunday and then Easter week. Thankfully, I get Easter Monday off. *whew* Maybe I won't even bother to get out of bed! LOL!!!
It will be good to have a reason to get out of SJ for a while - we will need to go visit FIL after his surgery, but don't want to impose either, so the timing game is also about to begin with Festival less than a month away. Mentally, I'm already toasted!
I believe this was one of the collective "worst weeks" on many people's books. Most people I spoke to had a bad week.
Mine didn't actually have a lot to do with me having a bad week, but that there were bad things happening to others around me. I am thankful that for the most part, I avoided these things, but it is mentally taxing when these things seem to happen and no one is getting a break.
Hubby's not much better. I know that things will improve, but I just wish he had an appetite and some energy back that isn't at 1 or 2am.
2 cousins died this past week. I wasn't close to either one, but my mother & sister had been keeping a vigil on one who was expected to pass due to cancer, but at 61 years of age, far from old. Then there was the unexpected death of the 25 year old...and apparently, not from suicide either. I'll probably never hear why he died, but it does give one pause when one in your blodd-line dies who is significantly younger than you.
Hubby's dad is unable to have the stent procedure, which they found out only after they started the stent insertions and will be having a triple by-pass on Wednesday. I had a full day of rehearsals yesterday for a studio recital which happens this coming Friday night. Then we're in to Palm Sunday and then Easter week. Thankfully, I get Easter Monday off. *whew* Maybe I won't even bother to get out of bed! LOL!!!
It will be good to have a reason to get out of SJ for a while - we will need to go visit FIL after his surgery, but don't want to impose either, so the timing game is also about to begin with Festival less than a month away. Mentally, I'm already toasted!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
A Thick Week
I have to admit this past week...past 2 weeks have been a bit thick to wade through.
While hubby's health has been steadily declining, he was approved for radiation treatment this past week and had it on Wednesday. 5 days of no contact and quarantining even away from me is now over. His immune system is still shot, so he can't be around many people and certainly not crowds, but we're encouraged that this treatment will work and if it doesn't, then he'll have the thyroid removed and then one step closer to transplants! Woot!
There has been a lot of health issues in my family as of late. Hubby, parental units, cousin diagnosed with rapidly progressing MS, etc., etc., etc. It's been difficult for me because I'm an emotional eater and have just wanted to eat eveything in sight and more the past week especially!
I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'd like a vacation, but I'm self-employed, so vacations mean no income, which doesn't work well right now. The enviable catch-22 for working 6 days a week to get more income! LOL!!
I am also having difficulty with a "friend" who is sending lovely emails, which I'm sure is true with "I miss you's and "I never hear from you anymore". Not something I need or want at this time. I'm a big girl, but there isn't enough of me to go around right now and anytime I do get as far as "down time" I don't want to do Sweet F--k All with. I am having a difficult time about our "friendship" anyway as I so vehemently disagree with some of her choices as of late and when we do talk or do get together, it's all about her and her issues adn her life and if someone does get a word in otherwise, it's brought back to her. I just don't have the patience for the woes and complaints when the person's choices are what put her in these positions. Couple it with my disagreements about her choices adn we haven't seen eye to eye in a while. I can't have my precious energy drained by selfish leeches. I have sent emails back explaining that I just don't have the time or energy to give and have to shore up my resources and reserves and I apologize for not being able to be there for her during her times of need, but it's just the way it is right now. Not sure if that's getting through, but I hope it is. I'm not going to worry about it either way. I've got other issues to worry about first! LOL!!
I've got a big week this week: Monday full teaching day 2 - 9pm, then Tuesday is a full teaching day 1 - 7pm, Wednesday brings a church meeting at 1pm and then teaching from 3:30 - 6:30, so a relatively short day! Thursday teaching from 3 - 8:30pm and Friday I should have the day off, but have a reading party at 6pm in Rothesay until 9pm. Saturday is a full day rehearsal from 10am - 4pm for a concert on the 26th. Sunday is church in the morning, choir practice for Easter & Palm Sundays with a catch-all choir after church and 2 students in the afternoon. Plus I need to cal and get in to see my doctor sooner rather than later, but that really doesn't fit in to my schedule right now LOL!! This week hasn't even started and I'm exhausted! There's is something innately wrong with that!
One foot in front of the other. That's all I have to keep reminding myself to do and before I know it, the week will be over and I can start all over again :)
While hubby's health has been steadily declining, he was approved for radiation treatment this past week and had it on Wednesday. 5 days of no contact and quarantining even away from me is now over. His immune system is still shot, so he can't be around many people and certainly not crowds, but we're encouraged that this treatment will work and if it doesn't, then he'll have the thyroid removed and then one step closer to transplants! Woot!
There has been a lot of health issues in my family as of late. Hubby, parental units, cousin diagnosed with rapidly progressing MS, etc., etc., etc. It's been difficult for me because I'm an emotional eater and have just wanted to eat eveything in sight and more the past week especially!
I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'd like a vacation, but I'm self-employed, so vacations mean no income, which doesn't work well right now. The enviable catch-22 for working 6 days a week to get more income! LOL!!
I am also having difficulty with a "friend" who is sending lovely emails, which I'm sure is true with "I miss you's and "I never hear from you anymore". Not something I need or want at this time. I'm a big girl, but there isn't enough of me to go around right now and anytime I do get as far as "down time" I don't want to do Sweet F--k All with. I am having a difficult time about our "friendship" anyway as I so vehemently disagree with some of her choices as of late and when we do talk or do get together, it's all about her and her issues adn her life and if someone does get a word in otherwise, it's brought back to her. I just don't have the patience for the woes and complaints when the person's choices are what put her in these positions. Couple it with my disagreements about her choices adn we haven't seen eye to eye in a while. I can't have my precious energy drained by selfish leeches. I have sent emails back explaining that I just don't have the time or energy to give and have to shore up my resources and reserves and I apologize for not being able to be there for her during her times of need, but it's just the way it is right now. Not sure if that's getting through, but I hope it is. I'm not going to worry about it either way. I've got other issues to worry about first! LOL!!
I've got a big week this week: Monday full teaching day 2 - 9pm, then Tuesday is a full teaching day 1 - 7pm, Wednesday brings a church meeting at 1pm and then teaching from 3:30 - 6:30, so a relatively short day! Thursday teaching from 3 - 8:30pm and Friday I should have the day off, but have a reading party at 6pm in Rothesay until 9pm. Saturday is a full day rehearsal from 10am - 4pm for a concert on the 26th. Sunday is church in the morning, choir practice for Easter & Palm Sundays with a catch-all choir after church and 2 students in the afternoon. Plus I need to cal and get in to see my doctor sooner rather than later, but that really doesn't fit in to my schedule right now LOL!! This week hasn't even started and I'm exhausted! There's is something innately wrong with that!
One foot in front of the other. That's all I have to keep reminding myself to do and before I know it, the week will be over and I can start all over again :)
Friday, March 05, 2010
struggling this week
I am really struggling this week. Perhaps it is because of the "break" and I am off my schedule, but I am having such a difficult week physically, emotionally and financially. Not sure what steps I need to do to change, but I'm trying to up the sleep in the interim!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
And so, the panic begins
It is only March. Well, not quite even...it's February 27th to be exact and I am already starting to panic.
I am starting to panic about how we are going to pay bills over the summer. A music teacher doesn't work from June through to September, but we still have bills to pay for those 3 months. The same amount of bills, plus more as it is nicer weather and generally, you spend more on "treats" (ice creams, pizzas when it's too hot to cook, etc) and you spend more on fuel as you feel like travelling...driving more...which then when you get to your place to spend the sunny day away, you spend money not necessarily budgeted for.
*le sigh*
I always had a difficult time with the summer drought when I taught "full-time" previously. When I decided to go back to teaching this time, things were different...I had a husband who was making really good money at a full time job and he had medical benefits through his work.
Needless to say, things change and we are not in the same place as we were when the decision was made to teach and things are going to be much more difficult than I ever imagined this year and I am already panicking.
I am trying to come up with new sources of temporary income without much expenditure. I have a potential lead on 2 weeks worth of work, but I am uncertain how much the pay would be or even if I will get the job.
I would like to think that the cruise ships will work, but the reality of last year is that it wasn't worth the time I sat at the table. So, that really isn't a viable option this year. I will have a few students in the summer, but that won't add up to $50 per week.
Readings are sporadic and again, not viable when looking at mortgage, car payment, phone, etc.
I used to be a good bartender, but that was when I was 15 years younger and 80lbs lighter. Not too many bars are going to hire an older, oversized waitress or bartender.
I really don't want to get back in to call center work, but I will take what I can get when I'm looking at things. Shoppers is usually hiring, so that may work over a temporary period of time.
I am going to have to take some time to figure out what I really want to do. I'm happy enough teaching when I'm teaching, but is it worth the anxieties that come with the down time? I don't want to quit after only giving it 1 year back to a serious try, but...
I don't want to grow up anymore.
I am starting to panic about how we are going to pay bills over the summer. A music teacher doesn't work from June through to September, but we still have bills to pay for those 3 months. The same amount of bills, plus more as it is nicer weather and generally, you spend more on "treats" (ice creams, pizzas when it's too hot to cook, etc) and you spend more on fuel as you feel like travelling...driving more...which then when you get to your place to spend the sunny day away, you spend money not necessarily budgeted for.
*le sigh*
I always had a difficult time with the summer drought when I taught "full-time" previously. When I decided to go back to teaching this time, things were different...I had a husband who was making really good money at a full time job and he had medical benefits through his work.
Needless to say, things change and we are not in the same place as we were when the decision was made to teach and things are going to be much more difficult than I ever imagined this year and I am already panicking.
I am trying to come up with new sources of temporary income without much expenditure. I have a potential lead on 2 weeks worth of work, but I am uncertain how much the pay would be or even if I will get the job.
I would like to think that the cruise ships will work, but the reality of last year is that it wasn't worth the time I sat at the table. So, that really isn't a viable option this year. I will have a few students in the summer, but that won't add up to $50 per week.
Readings are sporadic and again, not viable when looking at mortgage, car payment, phone, etc.
I used to be a good bartender, but that was when I was 15 years younger and 80lbs lighter. Not too many bars are going to hire an older, oversized waitress or bartender.
I really don't want to get back in to call center work, but I will take what I can get when I'm looking at things. Shoppers is usually hiring, so that may work over a temporary period of time.
I am going to have to take some time to figure out what I really want to do. I'm happy enough teaching when I'm teaching, but is it worth the anxieties that come with the down time? I don't want to quit after only giving it 1 year back to a serious try, but...
I don't want to grow up anymore.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Professional Acquaintance
I have made a realization the past few days that has been a long time coming. I am an acquaintance.
I know a fair number or people, but the reality is that more people know me/know of me than I know them. It drives my husband absolutely batty that I can not go anywhere in this city without someone coming at us from the other direction going "Hi Terri-Lynn!"
The realization that has been a long time coming is that I am not a friend, I am an acquaintance. Even the people that I "know" I don't consider to really be a friend. The people that I used to work with at the call centers I no longer have face to face dealings with. I make comments on the facebook statuses or blogs, but I don't deal with them and I certainly wouldn't consider them a friend.
The person I considered my BFF for more than the past decade I have not really had much dealings with for the past 8 years really. I realized last night that while I had gone and visted with her and her family in January, I hadn't called or even emailed her since. We are in compeltely different places in our lives, and that's what happens in life, but really, if I was a friend, I would have had closer contact. I interact more with the people on fb more than with her. There are a number of underlying factors to this, but I think it's been a rather natural process. I doubt very much that we'll be seeing each other much going forward just because of time and circumstance and choices. I doubt that it is something that will be discussed directly, but I think we both now realize the score.
I have also realized the past few days that there are people who consider me to be their friend, but I don't consider myself to be their friend. Again, they made some decisions in the past few years that I just can't bring myself to agree with on any level. In watching them make those decisions and working through the consequences, they can't understand why people (not just me) pull away and they whine and cry about it. When an attempt to explain it was made, the visciousness of their defense, before the explanation was even finished was enough to make even me just throw my hands in the air and give up trying to make them see how alienating their behavour and attitude is. They still contact me, but I no longer reach out to them.
In January, my husband and I went to Halifax. It was then that I realized I had lost all contacts with the people that I thought I was close to when I lived there. I haven't lived there in 10 years. The last time I saw the people that I spent a lot of time with while there was 8 years ago. I haven't seen or talked to that set of people since the funeral of a 12 year old student of mine in Hfx, whose father I taught with. It was as if with that funeral, there was an ending that was more final even than his death.
I have found a couple of people from my Hfx days online and on fb, but it has been so long, I haven't even friended them. It's as if knowing they are still around there is good enough.
I also realized the past couple of days that the people here in SJ are more acquaintances than friends. I believe I saw one of my childhood friends more when I lived in Halifax and she was in town visiting than we do living in the same city.
My schedule is rather prohibitive to getting together with people, but admittedly, so is my attitude. It is clearly evident that I am much more inclined after my teaching day or teaching week to plunk myself in my chair and watch a movie or catch up on the TV shows that are DVR'ed from the week than go out and talk to, deal with and interact with people. My husband is not exactly a social butterfly either, so it definitely is something that enables me to be comfortable in my isolation and perfect the acquaintance vs. friend.
Something my mother said to me a lot when growing up has also been ringing in my ears lately...don't make friends, they'll only hurt you. In my case though, I don't think it was those that I considered to be my friends that hurt me. I believe it was me that hurt them.
So, thanks for being my acquaintance. It's the best I can hope for! :)
I know a fair number or people, but the reality is that more people know me/know of me than I know them. It drives my husband absolutely batty that I can not go anywhere in this city without someone coming at us from the other direction going "Hi Terri-Lynn!"
The realization that has been a long time coming is that I am not a friend, I am an acquaintance. Even the people that I "know" I don't consider to really be a friend. The people that I used to work with at the call centers I no longer have face to face dealings with. I make comments on the facebook statuses or blogs, but I don't deal with them and I certainly wouldn't consider them a friend.
The person I considered my BFF for more than the past decade I have not really had much dealings with for the past 8 years really. I realized last night that while I had gone and visted with her and her family in January, I hadn't called or even emailed her since. We are in compeltely different places in our lives, and that's what happens in life, but really, if I was a friend, I would have had closer contact. I interact more with the people on fb more than with her. There are a number of underlying factors to this, but I think it's been a rather natural process. I doubt very much that we'll be seeing each other much going forward just because of time and circumstance and choices. I doubt that it is something that will be discussed directly, but I think we both now realize the score.
I have also realized the past few days that there are people who consider me to be their friend, but I don't consider myself to be their friend. Again, they made some decisions in the past few years that I just can't bring myself to agree with on any level. In watching them make those decisions and working through the consequences, they can't understand why people (not just me) pull away and they whine and cry about it. When an attempt to explain it was made, the visciousness of their defense, before the explanation was even finished was enough to make even me just throw my hands in the air and give up trying to make them see how alienating their behavour and attitude is. They still contact me, but I no longer reach out to them.
In January, my husband and I went to Halifax. It was then that I realized I had lost all contacts with the people that I thought I was close to when I lived there. I haven't lived there in 10 years. The last time I saw the people that I spent a lot of time with while there was 8 years ago. I haven't seen or talked to that set of people since the funeral of a 12 year old student of mine in Hfx, whose father I taught with. It was as if with that funeral, there was an ending that was more final even than his death.
I have found a couple of people from my Hfx days online and on fb, but it has been so long, I haven't even friended them. It's as if knowing they are still around there is good enough.
I also realized the past couple of days that the people here in SJ are more acquaintances than friends. I believe I saw one of my childhood friends more when I lived in Halifax and she was in town visiting than we do living in the same city.
My schedule is rather prohibitive to getting together with people, but admittedly, so is my attitude. It is clearly evident that I am much more inclined after my teaching day or teaching week to plunk myself in my chair and watch a movie or catch up on the TV shows that are DVR'ed from the week than go out and talk to, deal with and interact with people. My husband is not exactly a social butterfly either, so it definitely is something that enables me to be comfortable in my isolation and perfect the acquaintance vs. friend.
Something my mother said to me a lot when growing up has also been ringing in my ears lately...don't make friends, they'll only hurt you. In my case though, I don't think it was those that I considered to be my friends that hurt me. I believe it was me that hurt them.
So, thanks for being my acquaintance. It's the best I can hope for! :)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I've just realized a pattern
In the churches that I end up working in/for.
The church in Halifax that I worked at while in Dal was an inner-city missions church that worked directly with & for homeless men. While I didn't agree with everything that the church did, I did agree that they were at least trying...hard...and making some in-roads.
For the most part, I enjoyed my time there. I never felt ill-at-ease around the workings of the church. Often times in the winter, I would go to choir practice on Thursday nights, put on a pot of coffee and let the guys and gals come in off the street to warm up a bit and grab a hot cup of coffee. They appreciated it immensely and I thought then and still beleive to this day that I was actually more protected because of it...some times when I didn't have a ride home with one of the choir members, they would walk me past Gottigen to the commons to make sure that I could get home safely.
I didn't know their names, but there are a few that I remember still...fondly.
I was at St. Marks for 4.5 years. That church was so not an inner-city church, nor did it cater to missions or needs of others. That is a church that is comprised of a lot of people that would not step foot in to a room that had a dirty, smelly street person. They would ask them to leave and certainly wouldn't have made them coffee! It may have changed since I left, but during the time I was there, they wouldn't have allowed them in the sanctuary.
I realized this week that I am in a similar situation again with the church that I have agreed to tend the music in. It is definitely an "inner-city" church and it is making an effort to be a missions church. They started a program almost 2 years ago where they have lunch on Fridays for the high schoolers uptown. Flapjacks & bacon. While not all the teens that go there are needy, they are at least bringing in some teens in to a church. This was prompted because there was a core group of teens who was doing drugs at the back door of the church. They wanted to talk to the kids, but they wouldn't come in. The only way they would come in was for coffee and/or food.
This past Sunday morning while I was getting ready for mornign service around 9:50am, there was screaming and shouting from the back of the church. The minister & I were chatting and the janitor came in to ask the minister to go with him out back as there was a man and I woman going at each other. He said they were "e-tards". I knew exactly what he meant. The minister, however, did not. The minister asked for a clarification of what he meant by "e-tard" before he went out in to the fray. I interjected and said...they were coming down off an ecstasy high. The janitor was duly surprised and impressed. He said "exactly". The minister said that he woudl go out with him, but perhaps it isn't to be assumed their state.
The minister is not the minister to deal with this type of missions church, but there are a few people who work there that are familiar...they were street and have made some changes to their lives. The congregation as a whole is older (think 65+) and they can not understand the desire of the teen interventions and lunch program, nor would they ever understand the "e-tard" concept.
I got it right away. Does that make me good or bad?
Either way, I have realized that I have come back to a place where I am at a very "gritty" place spiritually (literally). There must be a reason why I am put in to such situations. I haven't figured out exactly why or what it is I'm suppossed to do, but I have been brought to another "street church", so I do want to figure out...why, even if I don't figure out what.
I think it's a good first step forward making that realization this week. Now to figure out what to do next!
The church in Halifax that I worked at while in Dal was an inner-city missions church that worked directly with & for homeless men. While I didn't agree with everything that the church did, I did agree that they were at least trying...hard...and making some in-roads.
For the most part, I enjoyed my time there. I never felt ill-at-ease around the workings of the church. Often times in the winter, I would go to choir practice on Thursday nights, put on a pot of coffee and let the guys and gals come in off the street to warm up a bit and grab a hot cup of coffee. They appreciated it immensely and I thought then and still beleive to this day that I was actually more protected because of it...some times when I didn't have a ride home with one of the choir members, they would walk me past Gottigen to the commons to make sure that I could get home safely.
I didn't know their names, but there are a few that I remember still...fondly.
I was at St. Marks for 4.5 years. That church was so not an inner-city church, nor did it cater to missions or needs of others. That is a church that is comprised of a lot of people that would not step foot in to a room that had a dirty, smelly street person. They would ask them to leave and certainly wouldn't have made them coffee! It may have changed since I left, but during the time I was there, they wouldn't have allowed them in the sanctuary.
I realized this week that I am in a similar situation again with the church that I have agreed to tend the music in. It is definitely an "inner-city" church and it is making an effort to be a missions church. They started a program almost 2 years ago where they have lunch on Fridays for the high schoolers uptown. Flapjacks & bacon. While not all the teens that go there are needy, they are at least bringing in some teens in to a church. This was prompted because there was a core group of teens who was doing drugs at the back door of the church. They wanted to talk to the kids, but they wouldn't come in. The only way they would come in was for coffee and/or food.
This past Sunday morning while I was getting ready for mornign service around 9:50am, there was screaming and shouting from the back of the church. The minister & I were chatting and the janitor came in to ask the minister to go with him out back as there was a man and I woman going at each other. He said they were "e-tards". I knew exactly what he meant. The minister, however, did not. The minister asked for a clarification of what he meant by "e-tard" before he went out in to the fray. I interjected and said...they were coming down off an ecstasy high. The janitor was duly surprised and impressed. He said "exactly". The minister said that he woudl go out with him, but perhaps it isn't to be assumed their state.
The minister is not the minister to deal with this type of missions church, but there are a few people who work there that are familiar...they were street and have made some changes to their lives. The congregation as a whole is older (think 65+) and they can not understand the desire of the teen interventions and lunch program, nor would they ever understand the "e-tard" concept.
I got it right away. Does that make me good or bad?
Either way, I have realized that I have come back to a place where I am at a very "gritty" place spiritually (literally). There must be a reason why I am put in to such situations. I haven't figured out exactly why or what it is I'm suppossed to do, but I have been brought to another "street church", so I do want to figure out...why, even if I don't figure out what.
I think it's a good first step forward making that realization this week. Now to figure out what to do next!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A Review Of New Hotel Experience
Van & I went away for a mini-vacation to cold and windy Dartmouth, NS the past couple of days.
I have to preface this post by saying it's a good thing we had our first impressions when we did!
We stayed at the newest hotel in the area, the Hampton Inn & Suites at Dartmouth Crossing. It is 7 floors and was opened approximately 10 months ago. My biggest concern was finding it - not a real difficulty once I got there and saw things. Plus 1 for the hotel!
The parking lot is rather small and there are several spots that are marked for special parking that made getting a parking spot a bit difficult (i.e. 1 spot listed 3rd from the door for "Hybrid Vehicle Parking Only"...WTF?! & Employee of the month parking on top of the standard wheelchair parking spaces). Also, it was poorly plowed. Majority of the end spaces were not fully plowed and most of the lines sectioning off the parking lot were not visible due to the poor plow job. The spaces were a bit on the small side considering people would probably want room to open the car doors fully to extract luggage, etc. and there wasn't really the room for that. There were alternate parking spaces around back, which was great when we were staying in a room facing that way. Overall parking though was Minus 1 for the hotel.
Upon arrival, we were impressed with the hotel lobby's atmosphere and friendliness of the staff. Everytime we went through the lobby (which was surprisingly, a LOT) we were always greeted politely and there was always someone cleaning & mopping the floors due to the salt and sand being tracked in.
The check in was seamless and quick and the elevators extremely fast (+1 for the hotel)! The hallways were immaculate (as they should be for a new hotel) and we commented on how spongy/slippery the carpets were in the hallways because they were still so new and clean!
The also have a 24h tea, coffee & hotchocolate bar set up across from the guest services desk and a 24h suite treats rooms behind the check in desk where you can purchase missing toiletries, snacks, pop and even microwavable dinners! (+1 for the free Tazo tea & hotchocolate bar)!
The room was an interesting layout, but they are built for long-term tenants with a kitchenette and living area beside the standard amenities (+1 for the kitchenette, including the microwavable popcorn, Tazo Tea & coffee maker).
What was odd for us, was the bathroom set up...the sink, hairdryer, etc. was outside the bathroom. I am simply not a fan of using the toilet, then having to open a door/touch things before I even have the ability to wash my hands (-1 for the hotel).
While I unloaded a few things in the kitchenette area, Van scoped out the bathroom and said to me that it looked strangely familiar, but I didn't really pay any attention. As I sat on the toilet shortly thereafter though, I understood what he was referencing. I realized that it was a stand up shower stall only...no tub. I live without a tub in my home and had not realized how much I had been looking forward to taking a bath until I nearly started to cry upon realizing there was no tub in the room! (-1 for the hotel)
We went about our business the rest of the afternoon and early evening and decided to ask upon arrival back at the hotel whether they had rooms with tubs in them. We were informed by an awesome desk clerk named Jessica that the only rooms that didn't have tubs was the type of room we had - the King rooms. The Queen room all had tubs in them. That was odd to me that the more expensive rooms didn't have a tub! Anyway, she was awesome enough to offer to exchange our King room for a Queen room and we did protest at first, then I decided that no, I would really love a hot soak! So, she said no problem as she had a room available on the 3rd floor and offered to send a bell boy up to assist us in moving rooms. We went up to our King room, which was overlooking the highway on the 2nd floor and packed up our stuff, waiting for the clerk to send him up with our new room keys. (+1 for being willing to transfer us to a different room)
The boy arrived with a cart and card keys to assist us in the move. He gave me the key cards and attached to the cards was a lovely note from Jessica "Mr & Mrs Russell, I have moved you to room 702 instead as there are teams on every floor tonight except this one and this way you can experience a more relaxing bubble bath and night." I LOVE JESSICA!!! (+ a thousand for the thoughtfulness of this employee)
The Bell Boy asked us why we were moving rooms - was there a problem and we told him not really, except that there wasn't a bathtub. He stopped and turned to us and said, "We have room without bathtubs?!" LOL!! Classic! Of course, poor little bugger had only been working there 2 weeks! heheh (+1 for the bell boy who did his job well and made me laugh out loud)
So, up we went...The room was on the complete other end of the hotel and on the other side of the hotel, overlooking the entire Dartmouth Crossing. I have to say it was very beautiful looking out over all the lights from up so high!
We got moved and I went down to move the car from back to front and stopped to thank Jessica personally and offered her a tip for her good job. She refused it and when I insisted, she asked that I put it in the Haiti jug as they were raising money to donate to haiti. (+1 for the employee refusing to take the cash and putting it toward the fundraiser)
The next morning, breakfast was included and it included a hot breakfast component. That morning it was eggs and ham slices. There was also bread & bagels available to be toasted, apple, orange and cranberry juice to drink as well as tea, coffee & water. Muffins, croissants, yogurt, fruit and cereal were also available to eat. It was a lovely set up and the dinig area was one long communal table in the middle with smaller table off to each side. It was quiet and the staff overseeing the breakfast was on her toes! (+1 for the hot items, +1 for the overall selection and +1 for the dining area and alert staff)
Our second night's experience was not as good however. That being said, we can't really blame the hotel for the issues that I had as a whole. When we got back to the hotel the 2nd night, we wanted to get a hot chocolate to take up to the room because it was freezing cold and we weren't feeling so great, but upon entering the lobby we were inundated by kids...more specifically 10 - 16 year old girls and some adults who were not doing much to keep them under control. The pool with 180' water slide is at the back end of the lobby, so the kids were running in and out of the pool area and the parents/guardians were mostly on the outside of the glass windows talking and not watching much. They were ill dressed for a hotel lobby and when we went to the tea bar, they were down to a precious few cups and lids and were completely out of hot chocolate (wonder why? Well, I dont' because that's the only thing the kids would drink from there!) (-1 for the hotel running out of hot chocolate and -1 for the hotel not to make the kids stay in the pool area or make the parents pay more attention to said kids)
The hotel was hosting the participants of a ringuette tournament. Crap.
Then, there was the running races in the hallway until after midnight. Then, this morning when we went down for breakfast, the place was completely packed. Not one empty seat to sit in PLUS there was a line up to even get near the food. The hotel had run out of the hot breakfast items (which were pancakes and sausage patties) (-1 for hotel running out of hot food, but not really their fault) and they were doign their best to keep the food coming. By the time they had refilled the hot food, the line had disintegrated into vultures swooping in on their kill. It was scary and sad all at the same time.
The place was absolutely trashed. The jars of cereal were impossible for the staff to keep up with and the cereal had run low due to what appeared to be mass amounts of it being strewn around the area. They had run out of cups for the juice and by the time I realized that there was no milk to put in the cereal I had chosen, I had had it with the insanity and chucked my bowl in the garbage and left. I think the employee running the breakfast felt the same way. She looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. I got pissed and headed up to the room. I feel that the hotel probably could have thought a bit better in planning for this morning's breakfast since they knew there were teams there for the night and really, they should have had an extra person or two manning the breakfast area this morning. (-1 for hotel's lack of advance planning)
Overall, I would recommend the hotel...on convenience and cleanliness alone with 2 caveats...I probably won't stay there again on a Friday or Saturday night and book a Queen room! LOL!!
I have to preface this post by saying it's a good thing we had our first impressions when we did!
We stayed at the newest hotel in the area, the Hampton Inn & Suites at Dartmouth Crossing. It is 7 floors and was opened approximately 10 months ago. My biggest concern was finding it - not a real difficulty once I got there and saw things. Plus 1 for the hotel!
The parking lot is rather small and there are several spots that are marked for special parking that made getting a parking spot a bit difficult (i.e. 1 spot listed 3rd from the door for "Hybrid Vehicle Parking Only"...WTF?! & Employee of the month parking on top of the standard wheelchair parking spaces). Also, it was poorly plowed. Majority of the end spaces were not fully plowed and most of the lines sectioning off the parking lot were not visible due to the poor plow job. The spaces were a bit on the small side considering people would probably want room to open the car doors fully to extract luggage, etc. and there wasn't really the room for that. There were alternate parking spaces around back, which was great when we were staying in a room facing that way. Overall parking though was Minus 1 for the hotel.
Upon arrival, we were impressed with the hotel lobby's atmosphere and friendliness of the staff. Everytime we went through the lobby (which was surprisingly, a LOT) we were always greeted politely and there was always someone cleaning & mopping the floors due to the salt and sand being tracked in.
The check in was seamless and quick and the elevators extremely fast (+1 for the hotel)! The hallways were immaculate (as they should be for a new hotel) and we commented on how spongy/slippery the carpets were in the hallways because they were still so new and clean!
The also have a 24h tea, coffee & hotchocolate bar set up across from the guest services desk and a 24h suite treats rooms behind the check in desk where you can purchase missing toiletries, snacks, pop and even microwavable dinners! (+1 for the free Tazo tea & hotchocolate bar)!
The room was an interesting layout, but they are built for long-term tenants with a kitchenette and living area beside the standard amenities (+1 for the kitchenette, including the microwavable popcorn, Tazo Tea & coffee maker).
What was odd for us, was the bathroom set up...the sink, hairdryer, etc. was outside the bathroom. I am simply not a fan of using the toilet, then having to open a door/touch things before I even have the ability to wash my hands (-1 for the hotel).
While I unloaded a few things in the kitchenette area, Van scoped out the bathroom and said to me that it looked strangely familiar, but I didn't really pay any attention. As I sat on the toilet shortly thereafter though, I understood what he was referencing. I realized that it was a stand up shower stall only...no tub. I live without a tub in my home and had not realized how much I had been looking forward to taking a bath until I nearly started to cry upon realizing there was no tub in the room! (-1 for the hotel)
We went about our business the rest of the afternoon and early evening and decided to ask upon arrival back at the hotel whether they had rooms with tubs in them. We were informed by an awesome desk clerk named Jessica that the only rooms that didn't have tubs was the type of room we had - the King rooms. The Queen room all had tubs in them. That was odd to me that the more expensive rooms didn't have a tub! Anyway, she was awesome enough to offer to exchange our King room for a Queen room and we did protest at first, then I decided that no, I would really love a hot soak! So, she said no problem as she had a room available on the 3rd floor and offered to send a bell boy up to assist us in moving rooms. We went up to our King room, which was overlooking the highway on the 2nd floor and packed up our stuff, waiting for the clerk to send him up with our new room keys. (+1 for being willing to transfer us to a different room)
The boy arrived with a cart and card keys to assist us in the move. He gave me the key cards and attached to the cards was a lovely note from Jessica "Mr & Mrs Russell, I have moved you to room 702 instead as there are teams on every floor tonight except this one and this way you can experience a more relaxing bubble bath and night." I LOVE JESSICA!!! (+ a thousand for the thoughtfulness of this employee)
The Bell Boy asked us why we were moving rooms - was there a problem and we told him not really, except that there wasn't a bathtub. He stopped and turned to us and said, "We have room without bathtubs?!" LOL!! Classic! Of course, poor little bugger had only been working there 2 weeks! heheh (+1 for the bell boy who did his job well and made me laugh out loud)
So, up we went...The room was on the complete other end of the hotel and on the other side of the hotel, overlooking the entire Dartmouth Crossing. I have to say it was very beautiful looking out over all the lights from up so high!
We got moved and I went down to move the car from back to front and stopped to thank Jessica personally and offered her a tip for her good job. She refused it and when I insisted, she asked that I put it in the Haiti jug as they were raising money to donate to haiti. (+1 for the employee refusing to take the cash and putting it toward the fundraiser)
The next morning, breakfast was included and it included a hot breakfast component. That morning it was eggs and ham slices. There was also bread & bagels available to be toasted, apple, orange and cranberry juice to drink as well as tea, coffee & water. Muffins, croissants, yogurt, fruit and cereal were also available to eat. It was a lovely set up and the dinig area was one long communal table in the middle with smaller table off to each side. It was quiet and the staff overseeing the breakfast was on her toes! (+1 for the hot items, +1 for the overall selection and +1 for the dining area and alert staff)
Our second night's experience was not as good however. That being said, we can't really blame the hotel for the issues that I had as a whole. When we got back to the hotel the 2nd night, we wanted to get a hot chocolate to take up to the room because it was freezing cold and we weren't feeling so great, but upon entering the lobby we were inundated by kids...more specifically 10 - 16 year old girls and some adults who were not doing much to keep them under control. The pool with 180' water slide is at the back end of the lobby, so the kids were running in and out of the pool area and the parents/guardians were mostly on the outside of the glass windows talking and not watching much. They were ill dressed for a hotel lobby and when we went to the tea bar, they were down to a precious few cups and lids and were completely out of hot chocolate (wonder why? Well, I dont' because that's the only thing the kids would drink from there!) (-1 for the hotel running out of hot chocolate and -1 for the hotel not to make the kids stay in the pool area or make the parents pay more attention to said kids)
The hotel was hosting the participants of a ringuette tournament. Crap.
Then, there was the running races in the hallway until after midnight. Then, this morning when we went down for breakfast, the place was completely packed. Not one empty seat to sit in PLUS there was a line up to even get near the food. The hotel had run out of the hot breakfast items (which were pancakes and sausage patties) (-1 for hotel running out of hot food, but not really their fault) and they were doign their best to keep the food coming. By the time they had refilled the hot food, the line had disintegrated into vultures swooping in on their kill. It was scary and sad all at the same time.
The place was absolutely trashed. The jars of cereal were impossible for the staff to keep up with and the cereal had run low due to what appeared to be mass amounts of it being strewn around the area. They had run out of cups for the juice and by the time I realized that there was no milk to put in the cereal I had chosen, I had had it with the insanity and chucked my bowl in the garbage and left. I think the employee running the breakfast felt the same way. She looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. I got pissed and headed up to the room. I feel that the hotel probably could have thought a bit better in planning for this morning's breakfast since they knew there were teams there for the night and really, they should have had an extra person or two manning the breakfast area this morning. (-1 for hotel's lack of advance planning)
Overall, I would recommend the hotel...on convenience and cleanliness alone with 2 caveats...I probably won't stay there again on a Friday or Saturday night and book a Queen room! LOL!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
People, in general, are selfish
People, in general, are selfish. When you sign up for lessons at E's studio, you sign a contract. Part of the contract states that if you are sick, please do not come to your lesson because you may infect those that are around you in close quarters (like your teacher for one).
Last week, 2 students came that were sick, sick, sick. One of them a child of a general practitioner. I will grant you that the doctor was away and the child was being driven around by friends and family, but when the child can not see due to the eyes watering or breathe due to the nose running, it's a good clue that the child should not be going out in public as a whole and should be in bed! But no...these people bring the child to her private piano lesson (with me) and a group vocal lesson (with E & 5 other kids)!! Come on!! Morons!!
Then on Tuesdays my first student is a 4 year old. A 4 year old who can't blow his own nose. A 4 year old who, like all other 4 year olds don't know the warning signs of a sneeze. Again, the kids eyes were puffy and watery from a miserable cold and his nose was running like a tap, but because it was the 2nd lesson ever, the mother didn't want him to miss it and appear like a slacker! OMG!! Instead, the kid who at 4 doesn't know what signs he has before he sneezes, sneezes all over me!!!
Oh yeah...I hate kids at the best of time, but having a kid sneeze all over me REALLY doesn't do anyone any good.
Thursday morning at 5:10am, I woke up with a burning sore throat and a stuffed up nose. I have a husband who is immune deficient and I have a concert on jan. 31st to sing for and we are suppossed to be rehearsing actively. Oh! I am also slef-employed without medical coverage, so I do not get sick time.
People, in general, are selfish. When you bring your child to their lesson with them being sick, they are endangering those around them in tight quarters (like other students, but mainly the teacher) and I'd bet money that these people are not withotu sick day or sick pay like I am/we are. It is very selfish of people to put their interests above the interests of the whole studio, especially after being asked not to do that exact thing.
The main reason they do this, I beleive is two-fold. 1) The parent doesn't want to deal with the sick child and if they ignore the illness or make them continue to do their scheduled things then the parent's life is not disrupted and 2) the missed lesson due to the child being sick is forfeited (sp?) in that studio. If you are sick, you still pay for the lesson and a make-up lesson is not offered.
I would rather offer a make up lesson than to be putting myself or my husband or my income at risk by selfish people!
Last week, 2 students came that were sick, sick, sick. One of them a child of a general practitioner. I will grant you that the doctor was away and the child was being driven around by friends and family, but when the child can not see due to the eyes watering or breathe due to the nose running, it's a good clue that the child should not be going out in public as a whole and should be in bed! But no...these people bring the child to her private piano lesson (with me) and a group vocal lesson (with E & 5 other kids)!! Come on!! Morons!!
Then on Tuesdays my first student is a 4 year old. A 4 year old who can't blow his own nose. A 4 year old who, like all other 4 year olds don't know the warning signs of a sneeze. Again, the kids eyes were puffy and watery from a miserable cold and his nose was running like a tap, but because it was the 2nd lesson ever, the mother didn't want him to miss it and appear like a slacker! OMG!! Instead, the kid who at 4 doesn't know what signs he has before he sneezes, sneezes all over me!!!
Oh yeah...I hate kids at the best of time, but having a kid sneeze all over me REALLY doesn't do anyone any good.
Thursday morning at 5:10am, I woke up with a burning sore throat and a stuffed up nose. I have a husband who is immune deficient and I have a concert on jan. 31st to sing for and we are suppossed to be rehearsing actively. Oh! I am also slef-employed without medical coverage, so I do not get sick time.
People, in general, are selfish. When you bring your child to their lesson with them being sick, they are endangering those around them in tight quarters (like other students, but mainly the teacher) and I'd bet money that these people are not withotu sick day or sick pay like I am/we are. It is very selfish of people to put their interests above the interests of the whole studio, especially after being asked not to do that exact thing.
The main reason they do this, I beleive is two-fold. 1) The parent doesn't want to deal with the sick child and if they ignore the illness or make them continue to do their scheduled things then the parent's life is not disrupted and 2) the missed lesson due to the child being sick is forfeited (sp?) in that studio. If you are sick, you still pay for the lesson and a make-up lesson is not offered.
I would rather offer a make up lesson than to be putting myself or my husband or my income at risk by selfish people!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Meeting at 10am
on a Monday...I'm not sure why or what possessed me to say that I would be happy to host a group of teachers at my home tomorrow (Monday) morning at 10am. I'm not fit for human consumption most days by 10am, certainly not when I'm in an all-encompassing funk for a few weeks.
This should be fun!
This should be fun!
Monday, January 04, 2010
I didn't make any resolutions but
I didn't make any new years resolutions. I don't like them on principle, yet I find myself in a unique situation this new year.
This year we got royally dumped on with snow. In the past 2 days I have shovelled 4 times. Shovelled and scooped. I prefer scooping overall as you move more snow with that one effort, but it is more walking (as I like to make my ramps as far away from the space I need cleared as possible) and it's a bitch on my shoulders (I've been having shoulder problems since October.
Today is the first day back to work and I didn't get any new clothes for Christmas - a first. So I put on my old dark jeans and they are looser than I remembered. So, I decided to weigh myself this morning...down 3 lbs.
Now, 3 lbs isn't a lot in comparison to what I have on my body, but it's a start. Considering I did nothing different to my diet, this is just shovelling weight loss.
So, I've decided to take it and try to keep the ball rolling.
I had breakfast this morning (I hate breakfast) and I chose low salt oatmeal.
I'm having chicken and veggies with pasta for lunch, which I am going to try to have as my "big meal" of the day and then I'm taking carrot stix, an apple and 2 clementines for supper between students tonight @ Elain's.
I have also decided to cut back to 1 cup of orange pekoe tea per day. If I want tea other than that, I must have herbal tea.
When I get home tonight at 9pm, I will do some modified exercise as my left hip is killing me - like a pinched nerve.
Perhaps that will also help me sleep better as well.
Part of my game plan today will also be pre-planning the rest of my week's "big meals" to try to stay on this track.
While I didn't plan to do this, I'll take the jumpstart if I can get it!
This year we got royally dumped on with snow. In the past 2 days I have shovelled 4 times. Shovelled and scooped. I prefer scooping overall as you move more snow with that one effort, but it is more walking (as I like to make my ramps as far away from the space I need cleared as possible) and it's a bitch on my shoulders (I've been having shoulder problems since October.
Today is the first day back to work and I didn't get any new clothes for Christmas - a first. So I put on my old dark jeans and they are looser than I remembered. So, I decided to weigh myself this morning...down 3 lbs.
Now, 3 lbs isn't a lot in comparison to what I have on my body, but it's a start. Considering I did nothing different to my diet, this is just shovelling weight loss.
So, I've decided to take it and try to keep the ball rolling.
I had breakfast this morning (I hate breakfast) and I chose low salt oatmeal.
I'm having chicken and veggies with pasta for lunch, which I am going to try to have as my "big meal" of the day and then I'm taking carrot stix, an apple and 2 clementines for supper between students tonight @ Elain's.
I have also decided to cut back to 1 cup of orange pekoe tea per day. If I want tea other than that, I must have herbal tea.
When I get home tonight at 9pm, I will do some modified exercise as my left hip is killing me - like a pinched nerve.
Perhaps that will also help me sleep better as well.
Part of my game plan today will also be pre-planning the rest of my week's "big meals" to try to stay on this track.
While I didn't plan to do this, I'll take the jumpstart if I can get it!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
lurking and snooping = slurking?
With FB's changes to privacy many people have not realized that they have to change their privacy settings, even if they clicked the pop up that said "keep all my preferences the way they were".
I can get on to most people's walls and see most people's pictures that I wasn't able to see before...yes, I've tried to snoop previously.
I have gone to check out people with whom I haven't spoken to in literally years. There were reasons why we stopped speaking and they are still valid, however I often wonder where they are, what are they doing, how are they doing, etc.
It has been an interesting experience to say the least.
I found an unreasonable sense of satisfaction seeing pictures of someone who had gained a large amount of weight since last I saw them. Especially since they were not the most kind regarding my weight/size.
I was surprised to find someone whom I least expected to pro-create has a child.
I was shocked to find someone had passed away due to a vehicular accident.
I was disappointed to find someone doing very well for themselves. Seriously disappointed.
In each instance that I was able to go on to someone's FB page and snoop around their current life I found myself comparing. I found myself wondering whether or not where they are now and where I am now are comparable. Are they married like me? Do they have kids? Are they working a good job? Have they gone away somewhere warm for a vacation? Do they own their own house? Do they have a new car?
We've all taken separate paths and gone different ways for a reason so why I want to know is something I'm not really certain about. I'm not certain also that comparisons are fair but overall, it doesn't do much for ego or esteem.
I can get on to most people's walls and see most people's pictures that I wasn't able to see before...yes, I've tried to snoop previously.
I have gone to check out people with whom I haven't spoken to in literally years. There were reasons why we stopped speaking and they are still valid, however I often wonder where they are, what are they doing, how are they doing, etc.
It has been an interesting experience to say the least.
I found an unreasonable sense of satisfaction seeing pictures of someone who had gained a large amount of weight since last I saw them. Especially since they were not the most kind regarding my weight/size.
I was surprised to find someone whom I least expected to pro-create has a child.
I was shocked to find someone had passed away due to a vehicular accident.
I was disappointed to find someone doing very well for themselves. Seriously disappointed.
In each instance that I was able to go on to someone's FB page and snoop around their current life I found myself comparing. I found myself wondering whether or not where they are now and where I am now are comparable. Are they married like me? Do they have kids? Are they working a good job? Have they gone away somewhere warm for a vacation? Do they own their own house? Do they have a new car?
We've all taken separate paths and gone different ways for a reason so why I want to know is something I'm not really certain about. I'm not certain also that comparisons are fair but overall, it doesn't do much for ego or esteem.
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