Odd

It's odd.

I shouldn't be sad, yet I am.

I'm neurotic, I have come to acknowledge that. In fact, I came to acknowledge a tendency - in fact, if I was a different personality, I would be known as a "cutter". I am not, but I so could be - it just took a different form. It's good to acknowledge I guess...I hope...

I am though, sad. I am fearful of this fact because I've got too much coming up that I should be looking forward to, but now I am not.

It is also affecting my regular everyday routine and activities.

It started this past Monday and about three other events happened and I started to spiral. The problem is everything's come and gone, but I'm not over it all yet. Maybe it's not all over yet after all.

I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. I've got lots to do but can't be bothered.

So noted

Interactive doesn't mean from new people. wow! Gotcha! and thanks for the flame! I had forgotten how to do that!

1st rehearsal

Wow! what a weekend! More on that later...first...

First Rehearsal was COOOOOOOL!!!

I was really intimidated to start - I was the only "newbie". Everyone else i had either heard of or seen on stage previously, so that is actually intimidating to know I'm the only "weak link", so to speak.

But, I went in having read my lines a few times so I had a pretty good idea of when and where I needed to be and go, which was cool!

Then, we had to read through the lyrics - no singing - just reading and that was hysterical! It was too funny to hear the company and the soloists going at it at the same time speaking not singing...the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun. Hysterical!!!

So, I guess I'll get feedback tonight about how it sounded...

Because tonight is the first vocal rehearsal for mama - 7:30pm
Tomorrow night is the first vocal rehearsal for class - 8pm
Wednesday is the first script rehearsal for scenes 1 - 5 at 7pm
Thursday is the first dance rehearsal for the company dance for all that jazz at 6:30pm
Friday is the first script rehearsal for scenes 6 - 11 at 7pm

Whew!!!

That's just week one!!! Glad I cleared the schedule!!!

But...then I've got nothing booked for next week...that's kinda odd, but whatever...I'm excited!!

Firsts all around this week!

Like Eva Longoria...

"I'm just fat"

and I know it

and you know it

I'm trying. it's all I can do, so let's just leave it at that.

cleaning frenzy

So, I'm in the midst of a cleaning frenzy and needed a bit of a rest.

I'm getting ready to host readings in the back room with Rev. Mae this weekend. I hope it all goes well! I still have to get the materials printed and the binders filled.

I'm getting soooo antsy. This is not good since we're just going into the winter. :(

I can't wait to get the show on the road for Chicago, but anxiety is starting to hit a bit. I'm just hoping that it doesn't push me over my anxiety edge. I didn't really take that into account in getting myself in to this situation.

Not overly happy with how things are going at work. It's not that they are bad, it's just that they aren't good either. Lots to do in too little time, which is what everyone complains about in any job, so I wouldn't get anything differnet anywhere else, but... seriously... doesn't it have to be this way all the time?!

Doug's funeral was today. I feel bad that it is on Angela's birthday, but at least it's one way for her to feel closer to him now that he's gone.

i looked at El today and couldn't get over how much she and mom are alike. I really wish that mom could just get over it, but that will never happen. The other thing I don't understand is how she can forgive Gladys, but seemingly not Eleanor, whom I dont think did as nasty to mom from what I've been told through the years. Who knows?

Ganky is failing again fairly quickly. I noticed it in his voice today - very weak in his voice. He now sounds like an old man.

Reality checks left and right last night and today. Makes ya re-think things. My problem is I re-think, re-think and over-think and then can't decide. *le sigh*

Maybe I'll take things easy and let the decisions be made for me for once...

And now the hard part beings...

I got the part of "Matron Mama Morton" in the Saint John theatre Company's production of Chicago!!!

*HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY*

Now the hard work begins!

I've never "acted" so I'm goign to have to work hard on that - mainly with lessons from the director.

I'm also going to have to memorize dialogue, which I don't ever remember doing.

I'm also going to have dance rehearsals...never danced before...eeek!

Should be fun...I'm looking forward to it...really...with trepidation...and excitement...mostly excitement...I think!!

Hurricane Guztav

Praying for Sarah and family's well-being in New Orleans during this latest hurricane!!!

Start Spreadin' the news...

New York was nice to see again. I hadn't been there since 2000, so there were quite a number of changes for sure in the aftermath of 9/11.

I don't think I will be taking another "teenager" bus tour anytime soon...the young crowd wasn't the nicest, or most respectful crowd I've ever been around. :( They stole our seats on the TV & Movie bus tour - so we left the tour ($20 wasted) and then on the last day, we were allowed to put our bags on the bus - under it and then pick out our seats on the bus and put our carryons on the bus and they stole them/hid them which totally SUCKED because it had Van and my meds in them.

Really peeved. Oh well. Comes with the territory.

I think things went well overall with travelling with mom & dad. Dad's not feeling all that good - we could tell by his walk and his sleep, but everyone made it, which is cool.

Don't really feel the need to go again any time soon, but only time will tell. the right time and the right price...anything can happen :)