Chaz is too funny

My cousins are heading to the New Orleans area for a wedding at the end of the month. They asked for som suggestions of things to do and see while they are there. One thing that leapt to mind was the vampire and ghost walking tour that we took with Chaz and Boone and Randy. Chaz makes an impact. That and when we were on the tour, he explained a bit of his history in life and he is a musician, used to be a music teacher, etc, and he just always stuck with me (and I think Sarah still has the scars on her back from the scratches he gave her with his real nails! heheh) So, tonight, I went searching online and found out that Chaz split with the company he was working with when we were there and went out on his own. There is a website for him: http://www.lordchaz.com and discussion boards.

He has a journal on one of the boards. I couldn't help myself. I went on to see. A subject line struck me and I had to read. I nearly wet myself with laughter especially at the last few lines. I had to copy and paste it here (I've bolded what killed me):

Lord Chaz
Consul Imperium



Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 566
Location: New Orleans
Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 2:34 am Post subject: CrÜefest Chicago - Day One

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Well, where does one begin when telling the story of the past week. I have a feeling that it may take several journal entry sessions to get the whole story out, there are simply too many vignettes, too many magical moments, and far too many felonies, misdemeanors and crimes against nature to press into a single post.

So, shall we start at the beginning?

Lord Micah and I decided to get to the airport quite early. We felt that early arrival was vital considering my experience with airport security when I flew to Atlanta a year ago. Also of great concern was the uncertainty as to how security would react should they discover a two foot tall, bat winged, critter with a foot long bifurcated tongue hidden within my luggage. I was quite certain that bringing Daemon along on this trip would prove to be calamitous, but neither was I comfortable with leaving him for a week at the manor, unattended.

In an effort to ease our transition through security, I dressed in a manner rather inconsistent with my usual attire. It just seemed to me that a sport coat, dress jeans, and a dark blue casual shirt would cause me to seem a bit more innocuous. This plan worked flawlessly with one minor exception. When checking in, my bag proved to be seven pounds too heavy. Since Micah’s bag was light, the attendants suggested that we transfer something from my bag to his. I knew that pulling Daemon out of his secret compartment and transferring him to Micah’s bag would result in too many questions being asked, so I pulled my knee high platform boots out instead. The moment my boots became visible there were several gasps and an “Oh my god” and one of the ladies inquired, “Ya’ll must be performers huh?”. The only witty response that I could think of was, “Uh, yeah”. Other than this moment, our New Orleans departure was uneventful.

Arrival at O’Hare Airport in Chicago was slightly more exciting. It seemed that our pilot thought that an acrobatic landing would welcome the New Orleans lords to Chicago in grand style. After swooping and yawing the airplane from side to side on approach, he completed our landing by first plopping the plane forcefully onto only its right wing gear, riding only that one gear for a moment, then slamming the other two gears hard onto the runway. This uneven landing caused the plane to swerve noticeably on the runway but fortunately he quickly brought it under control. Not exactly a three point landing.

After disembarking the plane, Lord Micah and I made our way to baggage claim where we found Madame Morticia and Lady Lightning waiting. A moment of levity ensued just then, as Lord Micah was several paces ahead of me and turned the corner first. He told me later that there seemed to be a look of confusion in their eyes as they saw him walking up alone. They must have assumed that something had gone wrong and that I had not made the trip, or perhaps more likely, had been detained by security. As they saw me come around the corner a few moments later, I saw a look in their eyes that I swear was a mixture of both relief AND disappointment. I truly believe that for a brief moment they thought that they would be sparred the burden of dealing with me for a whole week.

Upon leaving the airport, the ladies inquired if we were hungry and since we both certainly were, they took us to a wonderful little diner where it was obvious that they had been before since everyone seemed to know them. We had some fantastic food and met a few of the employees who seemed to gather around wanting to get a look at the strange men from New Orleans. One gentleman, Christo, joined us at the table and I listened in as he and Madame babbled on in Greek. Since I do not speak the language, I can only assume that he was asking her where she had found the strays and why she had brought them to his fine establishment. Her excuse must have been a good one as he gifted us with a large box of doughnuts to take with us as we left. His shift must have just ended as we then dropped him off at his home. As we left, he gifted me with a large plastic bottle filled with a clear liquid that he claimed was Ouzo. Now, I must confess I have never come across Ouzo that came in a PLASTIC bottle so I eyed the liquid with great suspicion upon returning to the car. A general consensus was reached between Lord Micah, Lady Lightning and myself that it would be wise to test the suspicious liquid on Madame before any of us attempted to imbibe the plastic contained and strange smelling fluid. Since I have only consumed Ouzo once in my life (the result of which has caused me to classify it in the same category as I do the Devil’s Urine, Chartreuse), there would be little chance that I would sample it even should Madame survive the test sample.

Chaz ROCKS!!! :) :) :)