Still no voice

Many are rejoicing at the fact that I still have no voice! I went back to the hospital yesterday because I was feeling that much more wretched, but apparently there wasn't any more they could do. In fact he thinks it's viral and that the medicine I have won't help, so we'll see.

At least I got 2 hours straight sleep before waking up due to coughing fits, so I must be getting better! :)

New neighbours moving in to one of the apartments next door. They're really loud moving in and they don't look...healthy...if you know what I mean? But, we'll see. So far it's only a bed from a trailer on the back of a beat up blue and black van. Can't judge a book by it's cover, right?

So, with regards to the previous post, I'm a hater not a lover, I ahve been going through a period of time where I hate just about everything and anything. It's ironic since we're getting more help at work (they've hired on more leads and another Supervisor), the work is expanding (we're renovating the upstairs of the building and hoping to move upstairs by the end of March), I got a raise (which simply puts me in another tax bracket - I don't see any more money) and in most people's eyes all is good and yet, I find I hate everything...I hate my job, I hate the building, I hate the fact that we're renovating (lots of noise and interruptions to our current calls and customers) I hate the fact that while I'm making more money than I ever have, I'm farther behind in the money department, and I have no idea why since the bills aren't any different than before! I hate the weather, I hate the shovelling, I hate this town, I hate my body, I hate my weight, I hate my car (especially in the snow). It feels like basically the only thing that I don't seem to hate right now is my husband (which is a good thing!)

I'd love to get away for a trip, but I've got committments that I can't get out of (playing for a student for her university music auditions) and no money, no ability to get any money either. It's my own fault (didn't pay the taxman on time, so payments throughout the year kind of drag you down) so I have no one to blame for my misery other than myself, but it just seems that I will never see lighter time, fun times or happy times again. I don't feel like I can spend money on anything more than the necessaities and movies or travel is way too much of a luxury to even contemplate, but I am afraid that if this continues for what it appears it will continu for (a significant amount of time - probably more than another year) I will go insane. Ah well. That's life, right?

I didn't want this blog to be about pissing and moaning. It was meant to be a place where I could express my spiritual side, so this is the last that I will post about this BS so as not to taint it further. A distraction per se from the reality of my life :)