I said way back 10...12 years ago when I stopped full time self employment that I wouldn't do it again unless I had a stable partner income. Times have changed and when the decision was made to go back to full time teaching, that was the scenario.
Once again, I am staring down the barrell of the loaded shotgun known as the "summer season". THe reality is that my work is a seasonal activity. I am a teacher and while we do not teach within the school system, we are expected to match the timing of the school year. The big difference between me and any other teacher in the school system is that they get EI. I don't. Summer without pay. It's a loaded shotgun pointed in my face.
The past couple of years I have hodge-podged my way through thanks mostly to a rather lovely summer teaching gig through a high-profile arts institution. I made the same about in the 2 weeks there than I do teaching for the month at home privately. Add in covering for a well known organist taking the entire summer off and 2 days of students and I've been able to make it through.
This year, however there will not be the 2 week teaching gig through the arts institution. There will not be the church services as they have someone from within the congregation already covering due to an injury to the current organist that I am unable to help with as I will be away every other week due to adjudicating commitments. I have already been told by 3 of the hour long students I have had the past 2 summers that they are not planning on continuing through the summer as they need to take a breather. I TOTALLY get that! But, unfortunately, all of this has made me come to a quick realization that the shotgun is no longer pointed at my head, but is touching my forehead right between the eyes.
So...a decision has to be made. Do I make a life change now or take a summer job if there is one to be had? I'm thinking at this point for my age and such I'm looking at Tim Hortons, which is ok because I'll make sure to give tea when asked for it! LOL!! Or, do I suck it up, pack it in and either go for a "real" job in the "real" world? Another option still is going back to school. But for what? I'm really not wired to teach in the school system. I know that already. While I would like the schedule of the school system, I'm just not creative enough to survive and sustain myself in that setting. besides, music teachers are the first things cut. So, what else could I go back to school for? I'm not really sure. I couldn't do the psychology or sociology as I have no patience for stupidity. While part of me is very interested in medical things, I kida screwed myself back 15 years ago in university when I signed up for an anatomy & phsyiology class and never went giving me a big ole F on my transcript. Somehow, I don't think that anywhere I applied to now would really understand the "I was a lazy musician" logic since that's still what I am. I'm really not good at anything else other than music. So, while the most sensible thing would be to go back to school and change direction completely, I have no other viable skills to build upon.
This is all really disheartening.
On top of the fact that funding for schooling probably wouldn't be possible as again, I don't pay in to EI, so I wouldn't qualify for any help from skills, loans & grants and no bank wants to talk to a self employed person anymore about bank loans.
So...I guess the reality is that this really isn't much of a decision to be made after all.
Sometimes blogging really does help clarify things! :)
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