Almost through

I am one week away from being finished the longest festival season to date in my life. It started rough and I am hoping that it doesn't end quite so rough! Only time will tell. I adjudicated three festivals of varying lengths and intensities.

The first two were "laid back" in atmosphere and people, but the first festival was an extremely intensive schedule with 3 out of 4 days being 12 - 14 hour days, often with no or shortened breaks. The last one was "intense and competitive" in people and atmosphere, but laid back in schedule with every evening and some afternoon and evening off. I have not had much time to reflect on the experiences. I definitely learned greatly from each of these events in different ways and hope to use that new information going forward. It would really be difficult to keep up a 3 festival schedule each year. I acknowledge that this year was different from most other years that I will have personally as well, but it was very difficult on the head and spirit. I will have to take time to consider the schedule and how it affects my personal and teaching life a little more when I go on the hunt for festivals to adjudicate at in the future.

The interesting thing is the first festival I was at was done a month ago, yet it is just now coming back to "haunt me". Through no fault or issue of mine, one of the teachers there has lodged a complaint - 1 month post festival! It's simply ludicrous, but the reality is that there is a pissing match happening between that teacher and another teacher and she is trying to get the other teacher's students disqualified from progressing further in to the provincial festival, which I recommended they go on and compete in, so said teacher is trying to get me to say that I was co-erced and if that doesn't work, then she is going to try to get it so that I made errors in process. Neither thing happened. The reality is that the adjudicators decision is FINAL. Tout finis! Suck it up buttercup and move on. Don't be calling me to complain or get me to tell you the process by which I made my decisions a month ago! So, I will be sending the festival board a letter of recommendation that they add a clause in to their rules & regulations stating all questions, concerns and protests must be made before the end of festival. Once I am done I am done. You are not going to pay me to be your problem solver, so why should I a month later?

The second festival, only 3 days long with one12 hour day, one 10 hour day and one 5 hour day was a breeze as far as physical schedule and I thought it overall as far as the work side of things went well, but the feedback was less than positive by the festival secretary/co-ordinator, but rave reviews have also come in from the president and adjudicator committee chair! After having the secretary tell me about the complaints and upset people (not just family members) but not giving me specifics, I went directly to the source of the people complaining - their teacher. Their teacher gave me specific things that made the students and people in attendance upset, which when I heard it, I had to agree their concerns/complaints were valid. That teacher then went on to tell me that as much as the people were upset, the reality is that what I said was valid, what I wrote as critiques and the tips that I gave to everyone to help them "fix it up" were legitimate and VERY helpful and that she was incorporating my suggestions in to those student's repertoire, but ALL of her student's repertoire with MUCH success! She basically told me to keep doing what I'm doing, but leave out X, Y & Z. Luckily she gave me this helpful piece of information BEFORE I did my last adjudication job this past week. It also came out that since last year's adjudicator was known to be a friend of mine and that we usually work very closely together (we haven't this year due to my personal schedule and issues) and because we said very similar things (only the other person did not give tips & tricks to help improve their abilities) that they thought we had gotten together ahead of time and worked together to hold certain people back as I basically did the same thing to the same people as the other person did last year - i.e. did not recommend the person that was expected to move on further in competition. I did not KNOW this ahead of time, but everyone there is quite convinced we are in "cahoots" against certain students. Really?! That is SO not worth my time and energy. I have other, more pressing things that need my attention than their diva not getting what they believe to be her due.

The third and final festival was very, VERY intense. Far more intense in repertoire and status than any other festival I had been involved in before. The physical schedule was light, which I am VERY thankful for because it took every ounce of energy out of me. I'm as yet unsure why - if it was simply that the work itself was that much bigger and more difficult or if it was because it was the third in 4 weeks or if I was just that upset by the information from the 2nd festival which threw me in to a whirlpool of self-doubt and internal chaos, or if it was all of it combined, but I was most thankful for the lighter schedule so I could actually recover. I seriously needed recovery time at the end of every day just to get up the next day and do my job. Very uncomfortable feeling, to say the least. I have asked for feedback, if they have any, good and bad so that I can continue to learn and improve. Our system does not have any seminars, workshops or even national minimum standards, so for me the only way to know what needs improving is to take the criticisms. I am hopeful that these will be presented in a more constructive way than what I was given 2 weeks ago. This week I go from critique mode to performer mode. I am exhausted, but excited and am looking forward to hearing someone else that I can hopefully pick up some dos and don'ts from.

I have also made a decision to go out on a limb and apply for an apprenticeship program centered in Ontario that if I am accepted to would give me the ability to travel nationally. They don't take many and often do not take people on their first application, but I figure I have nothing to lose at this point except the chance and some cash. So, I'm printing the stuff off tonight when I am done teaching and sending it purolator tomorrow. Keeping toes crossed that they will take a chance on me and perhaps I can start the apprenticeship program this summer. Currently, I have NOTHING booked, so it would be a great thing timing-wise for me! I will keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed, please & thank you.

when the person who sees you every day notices...

then it's noticeable...

The day that hubby get the call for his organ transplants I had gone to a nutritionist to try to prepare for what I knew then would be a long and arduous journey that I needed to be healthier for.

I was right, but a little too late out of the gate! LOL!

I had decided at 10am that morning that I was going to eat healthier, exercise more and in the process lose weight not for vanity's sake, but for health sake.

I had weighed myself the week before and was 266lbs and that was when I knew it was past the time. By the time I got to the "lifestyle coach" and she weighed and measured me I was 262.6lbs.

In the first 10 days alone I had lost 15lbs, so I was expecting GREAT weight loss like I had the last time nearly 8 years ago. Today, 20 weeks later I'm only down 25lbs (some days I'm down 30lbs and other I'm only down 20lbs. I have large weight fluctuations) but it's the inches that I've lost that is shocking even me.

When the person who sees you every day asks, "are you losing more weight?" it's definitely noticeable. When my mother who never gives weight comments in good ways goes "you really have lost a lot of weight!" notices and doesn't follow it up with a "but you need to lose more" it's definitely noticeable.

I feel kind of bad though because I will tell people I am losing weight, but really I'm not. I've been above and below the 240lbs mark now for a month, but I am still heading down sizes in clothes. Not sure how, but I'll take it!

I'm down 12" total from around my body. Again, not as much in the "target zone" of my belly, but the upper back, belly, arms, hips & legs have all reduced in size. The clothes that I had intended to wear to adjudicate this year really do not do me any justice, but I will have to wear what I have. I started this back in November at the top of the 5X (I was seriously considering getting a 6X) or 30/32W shirts. I was down to only 1 place in town that I could purchase tops at. Depending on the fabric and the cut I am either a 2X or 3X shirt now or a 22 top. when doing the X sizes, that's 3 sizes. When doing the numeric sizes, that's 5 sizes dropped! Pretty incredible when it usually takes 10lbs to drop a size!

I started in pants at fat store size 22 - and they were getting tighter by the day and I didn't even bother to look at regular stores for anything other than shoes. Today, I am down to a fat store 14/16 and a regular store 18. That's a difference of 3 sizes, which suits me JUST FINE that I'm losing more inches on the top than on the bottom since I had far more to lose on the top as I'm an inverted triangle which is just a bitchly shape to dress!!

I can't complain as I do feel healthier and better but the looking professional thing has really gotten to me today as I pack to go away to adjudicate and feel very bag-lady-ish and unkempt when I should be feeling proud and healthy. Ah well. Temporary first world problems :)