Is it too much to ask?

We had a brand new furnace installed to the tune of well over $4000 on Friday. The first night we didn't notice much different - if anything, things were a bit quieter. Then on Saturday, it started making terrible creaking, groaning and banging noises. Thinking it was just settling, I waited to call until I made sure it was going to continue. On Sunday it was really getting bad. The banging was to the point where the entire floor from the back to the front of the house would shake and it sounded like a gunshot going off. Particularly disturbing as you try to sleep.

On Sunday, I called the furnace installation people. I realize it was a weekend and the fellow was only on call, but he did not do or say the right things to put me at ease that the furnace was working or that I made the right choice to go with this company in the first place as his only explanation was "It's probably something you'll have to live with." UMMMMMMM WHAAAAAAAT?!

So, needless to say I didn't want him to come over and take a look at a new furnace installed less than 48 hours earlier because he wouldn't have enough care or concern to look at it properly in the first place.

So, I called this morning to ask for the guy who installed it on Friday to come over. He'd been here a couple times previously and he was very nice.

Today was not his day - his truck broke down on the way to work and he seemed as unconcerned as my non friend on the phone! He basically said that there was probably a loose pipe under the house that was causing the issue because of the new pump but there was nothing that could be done. UMMMM NO! Take a look at it and listen to it before you tell me that there isn't anything that can be done! Once he heard it, he had to agree that it was abnormally loud and he took off his jacket and took out a screwdriver and got at "tinkering" with the valves.

A person shouldn't have to PLEAD with someone to take the time to actually look and listen. I'm not really surprised that they had to come back to tweak after the install. It's an old house and nothing goes quite perfectly when you put new in to old, but it was disappointing to have that reaction not once but TWICE from a company that is getting that kind of money to do such things. We were treated as morons and an inconvenience/waste of time on the phone but also upon arrival this morning.

Only after he had to do a fair bit of adjusting was there an admittance that there was an issue and that if we had any other problems or concerns to simply call and they'd come back to make the adjustments as needed. For that kind of money, have no fear that I will be calling if I have concerns.

How frustrating though to have to have that kind of gumption to stand up for yourself to two people! I know a few people who are not able to speak up for themselves and would have not had someone even come to look at it! SO WRONG!!

Happy Monday!

It's getting harder and harder to breathe

I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep from feeling like I am drowning. Mentally, physically and emotionally just when I think "I can do this" there is another overwhelming event that happens and I feel like I suffocating and will never breathe again.

It is getting harder and harder to believe that everything that happens is for a reason and is happening at the right time. I'm feeling less and less blessed and more and more punished every moment of every day.

These are the times in my past that when it piles up like this, I would acknowledge I've made a wrong decision and go back and change the decision or make amends and the overwhelming roadblocks would almost immediately be lessened. Problem right now is, I'm not exactly sure what I've done wrong. Everything that is so quickly piling up (car repairs, plumbing repairs, furnace needs replacing and the roof will need to be re-done once the dry season arrives) are coming at me fast and furious like I've made the most grievous error of my life, but I don't know what decisions I have made. Most everything that I've been doing has been because I've had to and haven't had a choice. I'm starting to think it's a years old decision that has been lying dormant that is now waking up and bitch slapping me in the face for not realizing it sooner. But what the error is, I still don't know and there is just too much for a process of elimination situation.

I acknowledge my jealousy. I see other people with the exact same or similar work situations who have similar or same household expenses and repairs, dependents, etc. who are doing things, getting things and going places that I dare not even dream about and just don't understand how. I want to know so I can do it to.

There are those people who have jobs with health benefits, sick time and vacation time and they are unhappy with their situation. I have a job that by it's very nature is winding down and I will have no income for a couple of months. I have no health benefits, sick time or vacation time and I am unhappy with my situation. I don't know how there is no happiness on either end of the situation. I know I chose my situation and I thought I had this upcoming "down time" covered, but then my car died, my toilets died and my furnace died. I thankfully had some money to cover it, but will have to get a family loan to cover some and cover all the roof issues and that still leaves me with no reserve for the non-teaching time fast approaching. Perhaps it is time I once again look at the other end of the scenario and find a "real" job with fall-back benefits. It will suck because I'd have to give up things like adjudicating which I feel like I'm making big headway with in the short amount of time I've been active with it, but there needs to be a change somewhere, someway, somehow. I'm thinking that may make the demons go away again and stop suffocating me to death with difficulty. Just not sure what to change, how to change it or even why.

So, I will continue to stand still and wait for clearer direction and hope to not drown in the interim.

6 weeks to go and a ton of work to do!

Well, I am 6 weeks away from my first vocal/choral adjudicating gig. I have so much prep work to do as I'm adjudicating 3 different places. It's 6 weeks out and yet I am already overwhelmed. All I've done is print off the syllabi, label the notebooks for each job and already I'm ready to quit! I'm hoping that I will find focus and inspiration and fast! Especially since one of the jobs has made me an enemy (or 2) already before I've even started! Have to be extra perpared for that one. At least that one is the last and closer to 12 weeks out! LOL!!

So, I have given myself a deadline to get in to a new routine. I'll let you know if I meet it.