don't say anything at all.
I've gone so long without posting because of the above principle.
Today, I just can't not sit and complain and bitch, moan and whine. Don't say you weren't warned if you choose to continue on in this post.
***
I have had it with my life. Absolutely had it. I am truly ready to throw in the towel and start again.
I am tired. I also know this is just the start of it.
I am self-employed. No Pension, no benefits, no medical coverage, no sick time, no paid vacation time.
I have a husband who because of his health problems can not work.
I have to work enough for two people. That gets tiring, especially around this time of year when all a human really wants to do is turn in to a bear and hibernate until the snow and cold are all gone. I haven't even shoveled half as much as I normally would due to a surgery at the start of January and yet, I am SO over shovelling and snow.
I had a major crisis on my hands earlier today when starting to organize my 2010 tax claim. Couldn't find much needed and specific paperwork. After tearing the place apart and wasting much time, the specific items were found in my husband's backpack. Not the safest place to say the least, but they were taken to the government to show as proof of income back in October. Serves me right for taking too long to get to organizing my claim.
So, after a complete melt-down crying spell over lost logs, a complete melt-down crying spell over the snowmageddon storm part 4 we are having today, I am having a melt-down crying spell over the realization that I am making about $18,000 LESS than I was 10 years ago, but it's not just me that is living off that money. I'm living off of $18k less per year and keeping a husband. I'm paying on and trying to keep up a home in my name instead of an apartment. I am paying healt & lights (1 bill), water & sewage, property taxes, home insurance and much more that I didn't have to pay when renting an apartment. I have an 8 year old vehicle instead of a brand new that I got in 2000 and it's going to cost me mega bucks to get it past inspecition this month. The cost of living is going up exponentially (i.e. milk is going up 5 cents a litre this week) and has gone up exponentially in the past 10 years, yet my income has decreased by...lots and my baggage and responsibilities have gone up what seems like 3000%!
So, yeah. Can I just re-format my life back to 10 years ago? I was happier then. This life aboslutely sucks the life out of me.
